Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML
Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change. Being a good man, I said sure. I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. After walking into Starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the cashier my $50 bill. She called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
itsnotfair 0
you're not obliged to give your money to a bum anyway!
Outpail 1
Haha. This happened to me once, just keep on walking and drop a couple of quarters to keep him occupied while you make an escape.
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Comments (477)
Phiz 0
Wow that bum is an asshole. You have no obligation to give a lazy asshole money he doesn't deserve.
blobxmaster13 0
hahahhahahahahaahaha hilarious YDI.
MajorTom85 0
That sucks. You don't deserve to have some jerk follow you. Who cares if you lied, it's your money and you can do with it what you want. That includes spending it on starbucks and not giving it to bums.
matters511 0
that stinks, but you should always give them money because even though they might not spend it on the right thing, if you give to many different people it is bound to be that one person buys food or water
Tubasaurus 0
That's why you never give them money. He is not entitled to your money. If you feel bad then buy him a couple of cheap hamburgers, if he only wants money then he is most likely spending it on drugs.
DoctorManhattan 0
a) How'd he know you didn't pay with a debit or credit card, or even a Starbucks gift card? b) You should've told him "You know, dude, regardless of how I might've felt before, hurling abuse at me is really not selling me on the whole 'giving you money' thing."
JimboEdo 0
Kung-Fu his ass! No but seriously I hate when that happens, it happens to me all the time in Philly...Well the bum asking me for money part not the phsyco bum going ape shit part.
Bleep_fml 0
#147: you only heard the pity-fest stories, didn't you? The "please help the poor homeless people because they're starving" documentaries/campaigns? Wake up please. Near where I go to school, there's a homeless shelter, so I sometimes encounter homeless people asking me for change because they can get a warm meal there for 2 euros per day. If I offer such a man my 4 freshly made sandwiches (I'm often not hungry around lunch so I either eat them later or eat them that evening), they ALWAYS decline. If they're really starving that badly, then why do they only accept cash and don't want actual, already prepared food? Also, a friend of mine used to work in an office in the city hall, where homeless people can get 50 euros a month, so they can at least buy food (they can always get free drinking water from the drinking fountains everywhere). I can't count the stories he's told about homeless people asking for wages of 2 months in advance because they're out of drugs/alcohol/cigarettes. How he often got threatened physically because he was simply not allowed to give them that. I still offer my sandwiches whenever a bum asks me for money and I still get turned down everytime. When I ask them why they will take money for a meal, but won't take a meal itself, they get mad. I guess that says enough.
jackinthebox7865 0
that was mean you should have just said im going into starbucks, i do not have any change right now but when i get out if i have any change i might be able to give you a few coins instead of lying to him, i mean im sure he would have appreciated anything from a few pennies to a 50 cents or something
chazstah 0
LOL #16.. what a retard.. he suggested another lie after the criticizing lying? what an idiot. and i Hate people like that, they think they own the world and get whatever they want. thats probably how he got to be a bum neway. **** himm. shlda just held out ur wallet and show him some notes n when he comes tell him to **** off n start running :D