Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML
Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change. Being a good man, I said sure. I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. After walking into Starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the cashier my $50 bill. She called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
itsnotfair 0
you're not obliged to give your money to a bum anyway!
Outpail 1
Haha. This happened to me once, just keep on walking and drop a couple of quarters to keep him occupied while you make an escape.
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Comments (477)
curryndricegirll 0
Btw, I just thought of a billion Obama jokes that could go along with the whole change thing. No disrespect intended towards President Obama.
PlusShipping 0
**** those dumpster divers, I see them every day asking for anything you have.
usrnmalrdytkn 0
#199 - ya know. i love the way you think. but ya know what. everyone at some point needs help. if you haven't needed that yet good for you i hope it stays that way. but not everyone can be so lucky. you are judging just as everyone else is so don't talk about stereotyping. unless you know this persons life story don't judge them. and i hope that when you need help somebody helps you. oh but wait you don't believe in spreading the wealth. then stop paying taxes. cause i hate to break it to you but this country has been spreading the wealth for a loooong time and i don't think we are communistic.
xya943 0
How did he know you didn't use a debit/credit card?
willf1234 0
How come lots of fmls lately are about encounters with homeless people
slimchaney 0
Think of it this way... when you work, you are converting time (part of your life) to currency. Your hobo seems to think that you owe him (and the world collectively) chunks of your/their respective lives. It's EXTREMELY selfish to be a hobo (when it's a choice). Don't feel bad for him. Yell back if it happens again.
Jman1906 2
#119 I agree with your point you are not obligated to give out money to hobos, and they should bother you about it. But I think you must be a rich yuppie for wanting to make sure only the upper class has money. I would have punched that hobo out, then taken all his change to show where yelling at people gets him.
Diz 0
I say YDI for lying. Shoulda either been compassionate and spared him a few quarters, or straight up told the tramp you weren't giving him anything cuz it's their own fault.
Travestie616 0
How does the OP deserve this? I sure as hell wouldn't give my money to some homeless person. Screw them, if I work for my money they shouldn't be entitled to it because they sit out and beg.
surfinchick1610 0
the starbucks couldve been a generous gift !