Get the hell out of Dodge

By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 20:02

Today, I realized I'm happier and life is better when my husband isn't around. He isn't abusive, just lazy and uninvolved. We have young kids and I don't know how to leave him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 313
You deserved it 273

Same thing different taste

Top comments

dragonladiesfire 19

Tell him you want him to be more involved and to help you out or else you will leave him and take the kids with you.

OP, just a reminder - We are all affected by the pandemic. That forces us to spend more time than usual around our spouse, family, kids. That can stress people out. Even people who are happy together need breaks from each other from time to time. Ask yourself was your spouse always so annoying or whatever to you or did this observation start with the pandemic and quarantine and business shutdowns and working at home? If the honest truth is the latter try to figure out how much of this is displaced frustration from the pandemic and how much is a real problem with your spouse. Secondly you need to honestly figure out if you are better off with your spouse or without him. Bear in mind that in the current pandemic getting a job that allows you to be self supporting is more difficult now. If you are not working and expect your possibly soon to be ex to financially support you and the kids you are going to need an adjustment to your expectations. Most states expect both spouses to be at least partially self supporting and both are expected to provide financial support for their kids. It’s not the 1950’s - thank goodness! OP, try talking to your spouse in a non-confrontational way about how you feel. He deserves to know how you feel and he may be dealing with his own frustrations too, you know. If there’s not a really serious problem you should try to work on fixing the relationship if practical before looking for an exit. Some things once said or done cannot be taken back.

Comments

dragonladiesfire 19

Tell him you want him to be more involved and to help you out or else you will leave him and take the kids with you.

Are you that financially reliant on him? You should buy him more snacks and video games to keep him in his man cave and away from you and your kids.

Is he doing something that is causing problems? If not then why leave him?Many men don't know how to help a woman, sometimes even if he wants to it might backfire and damage the relationship. I would recommend talking to him, asking him, do not beat around the bush be straight.

Really? It's not the 1950s. If he can't figure out how to help raise a child, wash a dish, or do an errand without his hand being held then maybe he needs to grow tf up.

Did you miss the context? She said she prefers when her husband isn't with her. That he is uninvolved and lazy. If we don't know why this is how can you judge. I gave a probability to push her to talk to the husband.

Jeanette Waltman 12

well... get a lawyer behind his back for some info. then make sure you have your ducks in a row a financial stabile environment and just pack his bag! bye bye

Oh really, OP gets to keep the house and spouse is the one to leave? That sounds sexist to me. Every situation is different.

Jeanette Waltman 12

not sexist when op sais he does nothing around the house with the kids... no let OP leave and then teach him a lesson about caring for others?

OP, just a reminder - We are all affected by the pandemic. That forces us to spend more time than usual around our spouse, family, kids. That can stress people out. Even people who are happy together need breaks from each other from time to time. Ask yourself was your spouse always so annoying or whatever to you or did this observation start with the pandemic and quarantine and business shutdowns and working at home? If the honest truth is the latter try to figure out how much of this is displaced frustration from the pandemic and how much is a real problem with your spouse. Secondly you need to honestly figure out if you are better off with your spouse or without him. Bear in mind that in the current pandemic getting a job that allows you to be self supporting is more difficult now. If you are not working and expect your possibly soon to be ex to financially support you and the kids you are going to need an adjustment to your expectations. Most states expect both spouses to be at least partially self supporting and both are expected to provide financial support for their kids. It’s not the 1950’s - thank goodness! OP, try talking to your spouse in a non-confrontational way about how you feel. He deserves to know how you feel and he may be dealing with his own frustrations too, you know. If there’s not a really serious problem you should try to work on fixing the relationship if practical before looking for an exit. Some things once said or done cannot be taken back.

Win 9

If this is a recent realization, a discussion would be important because I’m guessing you married this person because you did find them interesting at one point. If this has always been the case, it’s still important to discuss but also talking to a therapist may be helpful in order to process your thoughts. In the end, if being away from him makes you truly happy, do what is right for you. Best of luck.

Feels like a solvable problem if that's really the worst of it.

do you not understand the words "for better or worse, in sickness and in health"? its your job to make it work. what in the hell is wrong with you??

he is lazy? has he been to a doctor to get his thyroid checked? nearly 5% op the population suffers from undiagnosed hypothyroidism... "chronic and debilitating fatigue and brain fog." shame on you.

littl3storm 29

behave, a massive majority of the generation is just lazy. Good idea about the thyroid but you don't have to insult someone? marriage doesn't always work, it would be nice if it did but it doesn't. she's unhappy, work from there

Why don’t you just confront him and try to figure out what ya can do to fix marriage