By Anonymous - 18/10/2020 20:02

Get the hell out of Dodge

Today, I realized I'm happier and life is better when my husband isn't around. He isn't abusive, just lazy and uninvolved. We have young kids and I don't know how to leave him. FML
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By  Chazzster  |  20

OP, just a reminder - We are all affected by the pandemic. That forces us to spend more time than usual around our spouse, family, kids. That can stress people out. Even people who are happy together need breaks from each other from time to time. Ask yourself was your spouse always so annoying or whatever to you or did this observation start with the pandemic and quarantine and business shutdowns and working at home? If the honest truth is the latter try to figure out how much of this is displaced frustration from the pandemic and how much is a real problem with your spouse.

Secondly you need to honestly figure out if you are better off with your spouse or without him. Bear in mind that in the current pandemic getting a job that allows you to be self supporting is more difficult now. If you are not working and expect your possibly soon to be ex to financially support you and the kids you are going to need an adjustment to your expectations. Most states expect both spouses to be at least partially self supporting and both are expected to provide financial support for their kids. It’s not the 1950’s - thank goodness!

OP, try talking to your spouse in a non-confrontational way about how you feel. He deserves to know how you feel and he may be dealing with his own frustrations too, you know. If there’s not a really serious problem you should try to work on fixing the relationship if practical before looking for an exit. Some things once said or done cannot be taken back.

COMMENTS

Is he doing something that is causing problems? If not then why leave him?Many men don't know how to help a woman, sometimes even if he wants to it might backfire and damage the relationship. I would recommend talking to him, asking him, do not beat around the bush be straight.

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  core01  |  30

Really? It's not the 1950s. If he can't figure out how to help raise a child, wash a dish, or do an errand without his hand being held then maybe he needs to grow tf up.

By  Jeanette Waltman  |  11

well... get a lawyer behind his back for some info. then make sure you have your ducks in a row a financial stabile environment and just pack his bag! bye bye

By  Chazzster  |  20

OP, just a reminder - We are all affected by the pandemic. That forces us to spend more time than usual around our spouse, family, kids. That can stress people out. Even people who are happy together need breaks from each other from time to time. Ask yourself was your spouse always so annoying or whatever to you or did this observation start with the pandemic and quarantine and business shutdowns and working at home? If the honest truth is the latter try to figure out how much of this is displaced frustration from the pandemic and how much is a real problem with your spouse.

Secondly you need to honestly figure out if you are better off with your spouse or without him. Bear in mind that in the current pandemic getting a job that allows you to be self supporting is more difficult now. If you are not working and expect your possibly soon to be ex to financially support you and the kids you are going to need an adjustment to your expectations. Most states expect both spouses to be at least partially self supporting and both are expected to provide financial support for their kids. It’s not the 1950’s - thank goodness!

OP, try talking to your spouse in a non-confrontational way about how you feel. He deserves to know how you feel and he may be dealing with his own frustrations too, you know. If there’s not a really serious problem you should try to work on fixing the relationship if practical before looking for an exit. Some things once said or done cannot be taken back.

By  Win  |  9

If this is a recent realization, a discussion would be important because I’m guessing you married this person because you did find them interesting at one point.

If this has always been the case, it’s still important to discuss but also talking to a therapist may be helpful in order to process your thoughts.

In the end, if being away from him makes you truly happy, do what is right for you. Best of luck.

By  Tom O'Halloran  |  9

he is lazy? has he been to a doctor to get his thyroid checked? nearly 5% op the population suffers from undiagnosed hypothyroidism...

"chronic and debilitating fatigue and brain fog."

shame on you.

Reply
  littl3storm  |  29

behave, a massive majority of the generation is just lazy. Good idea about the thyroid but you don't have to insult someone? marriage doesn't always work, it would be nice if it did but it doesn't. she's unhappy, work from there