Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while getting out of Starbucks there was a homeless guy. I bought him a coffee and he was so happy he gave me a hug. Guess whose wallet is missing? FML
Today, a man came up to me and asked for a $50 bill in change. Being a good man, I said sure. I gave him the change and he gave me the $50 bill. After walking into Starbucks to buy a coffee, I handed the cashier my $50 bill. She called the cops. It was counterfeit. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it across a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbucks to help him, leaving my things behind. When I got back to my table feeling good, I found that my coffee had disappeared. So had my wallet. FML
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, my friend and I walked 3 miles to a Starbucks. We went inside, paid for our coffees and walked the 3 miles back to my house. We forgot to pick up our coffees. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
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Top comments
itsnotfair 0
you're not obliged to give your money to a bum anyway!
Outpail 1
Haha. This happened to me once, just keep on walking and drop a couple of quarters to keep him occupied while you make an escape.
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Comments (477)
Mandy_fml 0
I don't see why people are voting to blame this on OP. My mum owns a bakery shop and once she had tons of cakes and sandwiches left over so she asked the bum outside if he fancied a sandwich and he threw it in her face. In London some bums can earn around £100-£300 a day ($150-400 dollars...?) from scrounging in the right places with the right stories. There's loads of women who bring their babies to the tube stations with them to get money - you see them all the time.
LesYeuxDeDario 0
Say : jesus dont want me to give assholes money ^ - ^
EGS830 0
Don't feel bad, I never give hobos money either. I usually just ignore them, honestly.
mattiscool 0
tell him to **** off and that its your change that keeps u from being him.
thuryn 2
It's really funny because just this morning I was approached by someone just as I was coming out of Kaldi's with my brand-new copper-plated travel coffee mug, loaded to the top with a mocha and whipped cream. This lady walks up to me and says, "Can I ask you for a favor?" I say, "Sure," knowing what's coming. "Can you spare a dollar?" "Sorry, I paid with plastic." She says, "I'm just trying to get some food," and walks away. Thing is, she was, shall we say, an awfully big girl for someone who is starving. Anyway, she let me alone since I flat out said no. Maybe the OP should just move here.
loveurlifeJK 5
I think #21 is right. And actually very little amount of homeless people are on drugs or alchoholics. About the guy's attitude, yeah. He was kind of a jerk. But, you'd be a little jerk-y if you were constantly being forced out of where you "lived". Homeless people have it rough. And soup kitchens basically give you a tiny bit of food, then they kick you out onto the curb, so obviously he can't stay there. (And to those people who say you should have told him to get a job, first off, the ression. Very little jobs. Plus, it's hard enough as it is to get a job when you're dirty and smelly. Think, people.)
1nicent1 0
You couldn't give money to a homeless guy? And someone following you and yellong at you isn't an FML
Goldfinch86 0
#125, people are not ignorant for not giving homeless people money. Homeless people need real help, they can find that at a shelter it's not anyone's obligation to feed them or give them money. Begging is not only a terrible idea but no one is going to give you money when right now many of us have been laid-off. i live in NYC the homeless people here are ******* rude and crazy. I don't know where the **** you live but here you can get yelled at for not giving enough, giving them food when they want money for drugs and booze, and some of them are violent whether you give them money or not. They have places to go people don't feel bad for them, they can get help but guess what..most of them don't want it. So **** them.
xkaokaox 0
I always say I don't have CASH, because that's the truth. Unless the homeless now carry around ******* credit card swipers, I don't have anything to give them.
alpha_fml 0
You should have thrown your Frapuccino over him. And then walked back and bought another. And then walked past him, again. Just to drive the point home.