Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out to neighbour's just down the street and left my 12 and 14 year-old daughters at home. The 12 year-old found the fire extinguisher and thought it was whipped cream, put it in her mouth, and tried to eat it. The 14 year-old didn't even bother to call us. Luckily, the 12 year-old is fine, the stuff was safe. FML
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Top comments
fsomelife 26
Go lighter on the kid, will you? She's the heroine of an FML! ...Sorry, too spoon?
ChakatBlackstar 29
What's worse? That she wanted to do drugs? Or that she sucked at doing drugs?
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Comments (127)
sammyjojo 7
Lolz! At least she didn't REALLY know what heroine was or you'd have a real problem on your hands. Maybe this'll shame her out of trying drugs in the future.
ifavela89 13
kids are watching to much tv
LLCC_fml 2
**** that pussy shit bath salts I'm on that baking soda nigga.
Ayanpatel95 7
Another "breaking bad"
Rainbow_dumpster 28
That's meth.
plantedrabbit3 16
I'm pretty sure Jesse and Jane did plenty of heroin in that show
John_in_Oz 12
Tell her you'll introduce her to experts who can tell her all about it. Then take her to one of the shelters that treat long term drug abusers. The sight of those haggard, drooling, brain-damaged, prematurely aged individuals was enough to frighten a drug-using friend of mine straight.
blackonblight 33
At 14, if she's at all worried about her appearance, showing her some serious meth face should be all it takes to scare her away forever.
metalwolf 17
Don't let her get near alcohol. Killing brain cells is bad, and in her case, very bad.
Treveyon56 14
I doubt she has any to kill.
Kateyez_26 13
Dnt let her breed!
hntandjlt 8
Oh my! What did you do after you saw this?!?
NoFlippinWai 24
Op showed her how Heroin is actually made. duh?
yourmurderscenex 13
wrote on FML.
LegolasPrincess 10
You're daughter is an idiot, and shouldn't be allowed to breed.
Shootermtd25 7
I don't which ones worse: The fact that she was trying to get high of heroin or That's how she thought heroin was made