Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out to neighbour's just down the street and left my 12 and 14 year-old daughters at home. The 12 year-old found the fire extinguisher and thought it was whipped cream, put it in her mouth, and tried to eat it. The 14 year-old didn't even bother to call us. Luckily, the 12 year-old is fine, the stuff was safe. FML
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Top comments
fsomelife 26
Go lighter on the kid, will you? She's the heroine of an FML! ...Sorry, too spoon?
ChakatBlackstar 29
What's worse? That she wanted to do drugs? Or that she sucked at doing drugs?
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Comments (127)
Astor_fml 7
Better hide your bath salts now
blackonblight 33
But I thought they outlawed 'bath salts' and the new thing making people go crazy and need to be tazed twice to stop their naked rampage was synthetic marijauna being sold as 'incense' ... Oh, wait, silly me, you actually meant bath salts, not 'bath salts' whoops carry on.
ohSNAPyall 27
Lock up your spice rack. Or just tell her that the cinnamon challenge is what people mean when they say that they do spice.
ohSNAPyall 27
Heroin has gotten so cheap! I can buy a big box at the grocery store for $2. They don't even card me!
buckdharma 38
Tell her she's supposed to sprinkle some under her arm if she wants to get hammered.
worldclassrager 41
Well she can't get high off that...hope she wouldn't actually get some meth to smoke...
Inked0803 12
This is the future of society folks
Deadmike 7
Bad genes, obviously your fault..
lolita88_fml 27
Well SOMEONE'S gonna get themselves killed trying to get high off retarded methods.
jw90 18
I don't know whether you should punish her for the attempt or let her off for her ignorance.
davek 36
Let's hope she never discovers jenkem.
paradogz_fml 6
I guess she took "getting baked" a bit too literal...