Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I went out to neighbour's just down the street and left my 12 and 14 year-old daughters at home. The 12 year-old found the fire extinguisher and thought it was whipped cream, put it in her mouth, and tried to eat it. The 14 year-old didn't even bother to call us. Luckily, the 12 year-old is fine, the stuff was safe. FML
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Top comments
fsomelife 26
Go lighter on the kid, will you? She's the heroine of an FML! ...Sorry, too spoon?
ChakatBlackstar 29
What's worse? That she wanted to do drugs? Or that she sucked at doing drugs?
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Comments (127)
fmlfantom 8
I would prob smack her, just cus they are trying to do heroin same for meth anything else go ahead with in reason
Robbo84 11
You failed as a parent YDI
jadevv 12
Everybody here is being disrespectful! STOP CALLING HER DUMB!
Mira Lux 26
Well she is dumb.
kenjenkei 32
It was you, wasn't it.
GeorgiaBea 28
Somewhere in there you failed as a parent
LyricaSilvan 30
Well...on the bright side, you now know your child isn't bright enough to figure out real drugs, let alone get away with using them. So that's one less thing to worry about.
cats1234 15
Should have let her think that's how it's done, she's just going to try again, and it could be the real thing next time