Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Twisted firestarter
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
Now we cook
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
ADMIT IT!
Today, my mum accused me of doing heroin because some teaspoons had gone missing. FML
Babysitters for hire
Today, my girlfriend and I went out to neighbour's just down the street and left my 12 and 14 year-old daughters at home. The 12 year-old found the fire extinguisher and thought it was whipped cream, put it in her mouth, and tried to eat it. The 14 year-old didn't even bother to call us. Luckily, the 12 year-old is fine, the stuff was safe. FML
Top comments
fsomelife 26
Go lighter on the kid, will you? She's the heroine of an FML! ...Sorry, too spoon?
ChakatBlackstar 29
What's worse? That she wanted to do drugs? Or that she sucked at doing drugs?
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Comments (127)
fallatah 4
Too much TV?
bellidona 15
U raised an idiot
sweetbliss3 37
I think a serious conversation is in order. good luck.
CookieLovesBoo 16
She needs to stop watching family guy - * Cookie Monster addiction *
1x1y 12
I'm sorry OP. I hope you can get through to her about the seriousness of drugs. Sad that she started with what she thought was heroine.
horseychickidee 19
haha wow
comment11111 39
This is so sad.
blackonblight 33
At least her stupidity was that she actually thought that was the way the drug was made and used, and she wasn't just aping behavior as if its the actions not the drugs that got you high, like those idiots snorting pixie sticks.
Tonka_Cookie 10
well at least she didn't really know how
More_Leg 14
The idiocy of this is a tad revolting. Why on earth would she want to do heroine? Take her to see what real junkies look like, I'm sure she will sing a different tune real quick.