By anon - 21/11/2012 19:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 907
You deserved it 6 360

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Probably shouldn't promise what you can't deliver, next time... If there IS a next time.


Knife one. Haha she's just bein a kid... I hope

NzaHaFML 13

Lock the door at night... or distract her with a Justin Bieber shrine.

StalkerChick 13

This kid sounds too hardcore too be a Bieber fan.

1- good point, that's a pretty sharp observation! I'd take a stab at a few puns myself, but I don't think they'd cut it...

frottiejoy 7

i dont know of a normal kid who is that enthusiastic about something like that. lame pun btw

23 - I thought the whole point of a pun is to be lame?

43 It's to be 'punny.' On a serious note. No "normal" child is like that. I would carry a taser and seek mental help for her!!

tsent8 15

Hide yo kids hide yo wife... Hide yo self hide yo knife

Almost every kid is like that now a days.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

A lot of young kids imagine killing "bad guys". Remember those days when you played cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers? It's just exciting for them. Who didn't want to be Dirty Harry when they were 10 years old?

nancyschmancy 9

Op, try honing in on your skills, puncture through her defenses. Just take a stab at it!

nancyschmancy 9

Damn, 19 had the stab one already. OK. Replace last line with " just hack away at it!"

Link5794 18

I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for another pun. The tension is so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife. A big one.

decidedlyvague 11

"That's not a knife... Now that's a knife!"

Cops and robbers? Cowboys and Indians? Who the hell is Dirty Harry? Your profile says you're 19 years old, but I'm thinking more like 79 years old. No kids play those games anymore, it's all video games and superheroes on TV. Growing up, we pretended to be Power Rangers.

wlddog 14

Killing her first is always an option. But not before she finishes cleaning her room.

Inheritance 10

She's a young Michael Myers in development.

rahulcool7 14

What if their is a new FML tomorrow and OP is like my little sister tried to kill me FML

Adding to 55- And hide your husband cuz shes killin' everybody out here

Probably shouldn't promise what you can't deliver, next time... If there IS a next time.

If OP doesn't comment on this, I think we can assume she's been killed. I'll be checking the City of London news for an obituary.

67 "Police have no leads. The crime scene had been thoroughly scrubbed before the body was discovered."

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Hopefully she WAS kidding..... If not, make sure you have a phone with you and lock your door. :P

She probably was... kids are capable of humor, guys. Granted the fact that the one thing that motivated OP's sister was murder is a little unsettling, but it's highly unlikely that she will actually attempt to kill OP.

I wonder how many FML posters have later died as a result of what happened in their story...

I doubt she'll murder her sisters. She's a little 9 year old.

Here's JOHNNY. Well since its a girl... U figure it out.

Riseagain16 7

well time to get a nice new!

That's not something a 9 year old should be joking about anyway.

kdog333 1

How do you know shes joking?...

I agree, if your 9 year old is asking to kill you, you need to have a serious talk with her.

Might wanna go to the kitchen and hide all the knives you can get a hold of. You could also go find a nice shovel or pick axe and when she comes for you with a knife, just hold up your gardening tool of choice and say, " are you sure you wanna play this game?"

also sounds like it could happen in minecraft

tsent8 15

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ It's all the rage don't get left behind man! The bandwagon is leaving!

Knives probably shouldn't be in reach of a child that young anyway, especially not the "big knife"

Link5794 18

How many people even own a pickaxe? I know I don't.

mas1995 12

Well, now you know she can't be trusted with sharp objects.