FML : Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around,...

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Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By anon / Wednesday 21 November 2012 19:34 / United Kingdom - London

Kids

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Top comments

By bellakaykid | 6

#5172471 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:45

Fucking hide. Like now. O_O

By Attica | 20

#5172473 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:45

Probably shouldn't promise what you can't deliver, next time... If there IS a next time.

Comments

By mpsteve137 | 15

#5172469 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:45

Knife one. Haha she's just bein a kid... I hope

NzaHaFML | 13

#5172481 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:47

Lock the door at night... or distract her with a Justin Bieber shrine.

StalkerChick | 13

#5172511 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:51

This kid sounds too hardcore too be a Bieber fan.

TourettesGuyFTW | 25

#5172513 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:52

1- good point, that's a pretty sharp observation! I'd take a stab at a few puns myself, but I don't think they'd cut it...

frottiejoy | 7

#5172528 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:56

i dont know of a normal kid who is that enthusiastic about something like that. lame pun btw

Arthurie | 30

#5172593 - Thursday 22 November 2012 0:16

23 - I thought the whole point of a pun is to be lame?

lilhellian | 26

#5172612 - Thursday 22 November 2012 0:30

43 It's to be 'punny.' On a serious note. No "normal" child is like that. I would carry a taser and seek mental help for her!!

tsent8 | 15

#5172656 - Thursday 22 November 2012 0:45

Forget taser hire the A-team!

graham11 | 14

#5172962 - Thursday 22 November 2012 4:35

Hide yo kids hide yo wife...
Hide yo self hide yo knife

Akharr01 | 5

#5172994 - Thursday 22 November 2012 5:01

Almost every kid is like that now a days.

CallMeMcFeelii | 13

#5173099 - Thursday 22 November 2012 6:16

A lot of young kids imagine killing "bad guys". Remember those days when you played cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers? It's just exciting for them. Who didn't want to be Dirty Harry when they were 10 years old?

Hockeyboy4280 | 18

#5173175 - Thursday 22 November 2012 7:01

105- Uhh, no.

nancyschmancy | 9

#5173672 - Thursday 22 November 2012 11:10

Op, try honing in on your skills, puncture through her defenses. Just take a stab at it!

nancyschmancy | 9

#5173678 - Thursday 22 November 2012 11:13

Damn, 19 had the stab one already. OK. Replace last line with " just hack away at it!"

dinorider_fml | 4

#5174459 - Thursday 22 November 2012 17:19

Cut it out with all these puns

Link5794 | 16

#5175789 - Friday 23 November 2012 1:34

I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for another pun. The tension is so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife. A big one.

decidedlyvague | 11

#5180768 - Saturday 24 November 2012 14:25

"That's not a knife... Now that's a knife!"

starile | 19

#5181471 - Saturday 24 November 2012 18:31

Cops and robbers? Cowboys and Indians? Who the hell is Dirty Harry? Your profile says you're 19 years old, but I'm thinking more like 79 years old. No kids play those games anymore, it's all video games and superheroes on TV. Growing up, we pretended to be Power Rangers.

By bellakaykid | 6

#5172471 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:45

Fucking hide. Like now. O_O

chickenflem | 8

#5172497 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:49

Run bitch run!

wlddog | 14

#5172567 - Thursday 22 November 2012 0:05

Killing her first is always an option. But not before she finishes cleaning her room.

thatgirlinoregon | 21

#5172620 - Thursday 22 November 2012 0:32

...redrum...

Inheritance | 10

#5172650 - Thursday 22 November 2012 0:44

She's a young Michael Myers in development.

rahulcool7 | 14

#5172786 - Thursday 22 November 2012 2:01

What if their is a new FML tomorrow and OP is like my little sister tried to kill me FML

hihome | 7

#5172818 - Thursday 22 November 2012 2:46

Adding to 55- And hide your husband cuz shes killin' everybody out here

By Attica | 20

#5172473 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:45

Probably shouldn't promise what you can't deliver, next time... If there IS a next time.

rhaemese | 9

#5172550 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:59

Goodbye op....

TorturedXeno | 27

#5172602 - Thursday 22 November 2012 0:18

It takes hours for these posts to actually post after being submitted. I'm sure OP is dead by now. XP

Osafune | 19

#5172697 - Thursday 22 November 2012 1:11

If OP doesn't comment on this, I think we can assume she's been killed. I'll be checking the City of London news for an obituary.

ohSNAPyall | 26

#5173081 - Thursday 22 November 2012 6:04

67 "Police have no leads. The crime scene had been thoroughly scrubbed before the body was discovered."

By Hiimhaileypotter | 49

#5172474 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:46

Hopefully she WAS kidding..... If not, make sure you have a phone with you and lock your door. :P

tehcyberman | 9

#5172569 - Thursday 22 November 2012 0:07

She probably was... kids are capable of humor, guys. Granted the fact that the one thing that motivated OP's sister was murder is a little unsettling, but it's highly unlikely that she will actually attempt to kill OP.

sadistmonkey | 19

#5172939 - Thursday 22 November 2012 4:16

I wonder how many FML posters have later died as a result of what happened in their story...

onlychildFTW | 33

#5173262 - Thursday 22 November 2012 8:01

I doubt she'll murder her sisters. She's a little 9 year old.

Brotha_Lou | 5

#5174078 - Thursday 22 November 2012 14:55

Here's JOHNNY. Well since its a girl... U figure it out.

By Riseagain16 | 7

#5172478 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:46

well time to get a nice new panic.room!

By TalkinSmack | 6

#5172483 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:47

I guess u will have to kill her first lol

DudeEvil | 22

#5173007 - Thursday 22 November 2012 5:11

This ain't GTA!

MrPlopper | 9

#5173168 - Thursday 22 November 2012 6:59

YES IT IS!!!!!

sobs in the corner*

herpderpherpderp | 13

#5173698 - Thursday 22 November 2012 11:32

marvellous idea.

By illmatic2 | 16

#5172485 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:47

That's not something a 9 year old should be joking about anyway.

kdog333 | 1

#5172705 - Thursday 22 November 2012 1:12

How do you know shes joking?...

Idaho4177 | 4

#5172845 - Thursday 22 November 2012 3:10

I agree, if your 9 year old is asking to kill you, you need to have a serious talk with her.

newbiehere99 | 6

#5172926 - Thursday 22 November 2012 4:06

Unless she's the seed of Chuckie O.o

By neshag | 2

#5172489 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:47

No backsies!

By copo37 | 7

#5172491 - Wednesday 21 November 2012 23:48

Might wanna go to the kitchen and hide all the knives you can get a hold of. You could also go find a nice shovel or pick axe and when she comes for you with a knife, just hold up your gardening tool of choice and say, " are you sure you wanna play this game?"