Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
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By
bellakaykid
| 6
Fucking hide. Like now. O_O
By
Attica
| 20
Probably shouldn't promise what you can't deliver, next time... If there IS a next time.
Comments
By
mpsteve137
| 15
Knife one. Haha she's just bein a kid... I hope
Reply
NzaHaFML
| 13
Lock the door at night... or distract her with a Justin Bieber shrine.
Reply
StalkerChick
| 13
This kid sounds too hardcore too be a Bieber fan.
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
1- good point, that's a pretty sharp observation! I'd take a stab at a few puns myself, but I don't think they'd cut it...
Reply
frottiejoy
| 7
i dont know of a normal kid who is that enthusiastic about something like that. lame pun btw
Reply
Arthurie
| 30
23 - I thought the whole point of a pun is to be lame?
Reply
lilhellian
| 26
43 It's to be 'punny.' On a serious note. No "normal" child is like that. I would carry a taser and seek mental help for her!!
Reply
tsent8
| 15
Forget taser hire the A-team!
Reply
graham11
| 14
Hide yo kids hide yo wife...
Hide yo self hide yo knife
Hide yo self hide yo knife
Reply
Akharr01
| 5
Almost every kid is like that now a days.
Reply
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
A lot of young kids imagine killing "bad guys". Remember those days when you played cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers? It's just exciting for them. Who didn't want to be Dirty Harry when they were 10 years old?
Reply
Hockeyboy4280
| 18
105- Uhh, no.
Reply
nancyschmancy
| 9
Op, try honing in on your skills, puncture through her defenses. Just take a stab at it!
Reply
nancyschmancy
| 9
Damn, 19 had the stab one already. OK. Replace last line with " just hack away at it!"
Reply
dinorider_fml
| 4
Cut it out with all these puns
Reply
Link5794
| 16
I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for another pun. The tension is so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife. A big one.
Reply
decidedlyvague
| 11
"That's not a knife... Now that's a knife!"
Reply
starile
| 19
Cops and robbers? Cowboys and Indians? Who the hell is Dirty Harry? Your profile says you're 19 years old, but I'm thinking more like 79 years old. No kids play those games anymore, it's all video games and superheroes on TV. Growing up, we pretended to be Power Rangers.
By
bellakaykid
| 6
Fucking hide. Like now. O_O
Reply
chickenflem
| 8
Run bitch run!
Reply
wlddog
| 14
Killing her first is always an option. But not before she finishes cleaning her room.
Reply
thatgirlinoregon
| 21
...redrum...
Reply
Inheritance
| 10
She's a young Michael Myers in development.
Reply
rahulcool7
| 14
What if their is a new FML tomorrow and OP is like my little sister tried to kill me FML
Reply
hihome
| 7
Adding to 55- And hide your husband cuz shes killin' everybody out here
By
Attica
| 20
Probably shouldn't promise what you can't deliver, next time... If there IS a next time.
Reply
rhaemese
| 9
Goodbye op....
Reply
TorturedXeno
| 27
It takes hours for these posts to actually post after being submitted. I'm sure OP is dead by now. XP
Reply
Osafune
| 19
If OP doesn't comment on this, I think we can assume she's been killed. I'll be checking the City of London news for an obituary.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
67 "Police have no leads. The crime scene had been thoroughly scrubbed before the body was discovered."
By
Hiimhaileypotter
| 49
Hopefully she WAS kidding..... If not, make sure you have a phone with you and lock your door. :P
Reply
tehcyberman
| 9
She probably was... kids are capable of humor, guys. Granted the fact that the one thing that motivated OP's sister was murder is a little unsettling, but it's highly unlikely that she will actually attempt to kill OP.
Reply
sadistmonkey
| 19
I wonder how many FML posters have later died as a result of what happened in their story...
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
I doubt she'll murder her sisters. She's a little 9 year old.
Reply
Brotha_Lou
| 5
Here's JOHNNY. Well since its a girl... U figure it out.
By
Riseagain16
| 7
well time to get a nice new panic.room!
By
TalkinSmack
| 6
I guess u will have to kill her first lol
Reply
DudeEvil
| 22
This ain't GTA!
Reply
MrPlopper
| 9
YES IT IS!!!!!
sobs in the corner*
sobs in the corner*
Reply
herpderpherpderp
| 13
marvellous idea.
By
illmatic2
| 16
That's not something a 9 year old should be joking about anyway.
Reply
kdog333
| 1
How do you know shes joking?...
Reply
Idaho4177
| 4
I agree, if your 9 year old is asking to kill you, you need to have a serious talk with her.
Reply
newbiehere99
| 6
Unless she's the seed of Chuckie O.o
By
neshag
| 2
No backsies!
By
copo37
| 7
Might wanna go to the kitchen and hide all the knives you can get a hold of. You could also go find a nice shovel or pick axe and when she comes for you with a knife, just hold up your gardening tool of choice and say, " are you sure you wanna play this game?"
Reply
wickedninja918
| 1
also sounds like it could happen in minecraft
Reply
tsent8
| 15
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It's all the rage don't get left behind man! The bandwagon is leaving!
It's all the rage don't get left behind man! The bandwagon is leaving!
Reply
alissa222
| 15
Knives probably shouldn't be in reach of a child that young anyway, especially not the "big knife"
Reply
Link5794
| 16
How many people even own a pickaxe? I know I don't.
By
mas1995
| 12
Well, now you know she can't be trusted with sharp objects.