Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML
Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, I found my 6 year-old daughter upstairs, lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving, "the carpet a haircut." FML
Today, trying to be nice, I asked my little sister how school was. She burst into a temper tantrum and screamed at me to fuck off. She's eight. FML
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bellakaykid 6
******* hide. Like now. O_O
Attica 20
Probably shouldn't promise what you can't deliver, next time... If there IS a next time.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
ambear26 14
Just wanna throw in another example "the children of the corn" that movie is freaky as hell. I think kids are capable of things such things like that but I'm pretty sure op's sister was joking if she wasn't op would be dead and would have not posted this FML.
maddygirl820 10
"And not a total psychopath" hahaha
beatlegirl27 20
Call the cops or your parents(or both) and lock your self in a room and hide
meekthekit 6
Be very afraid.
Rosemary072098 11
Be scared... Be very scared O.o
scampman 5
I'm gonna be looking at London news for any 9 year old kills mother lol
winkydog4056 16
Is her room being clean REALLY worth your life?!
lilhellian 27
102 She could have posted while the sister is cleaning, it does take hours for an fml to get published.
StanSmith2013 26
This is where you add locks to your doors and hide!
hulksmash666 5
Kill her first!