Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mersinary12 0
i bet that went done well with the Kids mother.....
DocBastard 40
Forever, you can't compare molestation and spanking. I was spanked as a child, and I'm not brainwashed or scarred. I have a 4 year old, and while I have not spanked her, once she is old enough to know right from wrong, I will if I need to. Corporal punishment will not land you in jail. Beating your child will. But spanking, no. And I like how you used both "their" and "there" incorrectly in the same sentence. That was amusing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
rhu4life 4
stranger danger
alchemist27 13
STRANGER DANGER
lancer_elite14 5
Damn
bellebe1998 16
some children need a good spanking now and days...
xChaos 29
YDI, I would've looked him in the eye, so I knew I didn't pick up some other weird kid.
MgBusta 5
meh, they all look the same. probably needed a spanking too
lil_ham1644 29
My sister and I were never spanked as a kid or grounded. We spent a lot of family time together & just knew the right way to act. All it can take is a look or guidance from parents to keep their kids in line. Also, both my parents are teachers and deal with kids on a daily basis for the past 20 years, so they are capable of disciplining kids without being violent.
mias27 2
F these low life's parents saying discipline is bad for your child it's not having your kid running around all wild and crying in store not watching them that's bad parting there as you your being a great mom
fantasyworld 39
How do you mix your kid up with another kid?
justfml22 13
I would have gotten you arrested