Intimacy: Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother... - FML

By UGH - 31/08/2009 23:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents decided I was old enough to know that my mother doesnt really have horrible nightmares. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 134

You deserved it 2 924

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Same thing different taste

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By so scared - 08/02/2014 17:13 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 689

You deserved it 6 206

By Poordaughter5 - 06/07/2016 17:21 - Germany

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 205

You deserved it 791

Nightmare mother

By scared shirtless - 18/03/2021 20:01

Today, for the fifth time in a row, I woke up screaming from a nightmare. My mother burst into my room, leaned in real close and said, "So help me God, if you do not stop fucking screaming, I will rip your arms off and beat you with them." I’m never sleeping again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 226

By lm - 20/05/2009 20:49 - Ireland

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 692

You deserved it 3 991

Let's get loud

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 07:36 - Reserved

Spicy

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 711

You deserved it 32 181

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 266

You deserved it 3 324

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 372

You deserved it 3 881

Gentle

By Ash_The_Unicorn - 20/08/2020 14:05

Today, after losing my father a little over 6 months ago, and finally feeling comfortable talking to my fiancé (who lives with me and my family) about it, my mother forced her way into the room and started yelling at me for crying. Her excuse, "It’s after your bedtime." I’m 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 958

You deserved it 481

By slightlyworried - 05/04/2013 05:28 - United States - Parker

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 142

You deserved it 3 334

Next

Top comments

Dynoblaze 1

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:53

Maybe having sex with your dad was a nightmare for her.......

Khalavaster 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:46

one day you'll be one too :)

Comments

F00tball_Playa 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:41

I don't get it bitch

railfan_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:44

and how old r you?

daniisme 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 3:07

you will inherit here genes... :P

CitizenSnipz 0

Friday 30 July 2010 16:28

I'm a screamer too. Also a talker. Moaner... And finally, a squirmer. I often wonder what the he'll I'm dreaming. How is this an FML? You learned that your mom doesn't have horrible nightmares. 

CitizenSnipz 0

Friday 30 July 2010 16:30

Oh god, I just realized it was about sex, not sleep. Awkward trolling may now begin. 

greekgal44 14

Friday 3 June 2011 2:44

hahaha XD ^^

Chaosaiyan 6

Wednesday 1 August 2012 0:49

This comment is gold

smellanie 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:45

that sucks

T_X_P 2

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:45

Too.Much.Information.

railfan_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:45

oops i mean second sorry I'm using the iPhone app

ivydindy13 14

Wednesday 26 October 2011 4:36

You are still an idiot.

Khalavaster 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:46

one day you'll be one too :)

silly_kate 0

Wednesday 2 September 2009 9:57

lmao! nice!

Dynoblaze 1

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:53

Maybe having sex with your dad was a nightmare for her.......

FeelYaFallinAway 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:59

lol. Good point rofl

Ajasstuff 0

Sunday 27 June 2010 17:20

Good one!

shoshizzle 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 7:57

WTF...

NaziZombie 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:00

First (you liar)

stupidfacesiiigh 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 8:07

hahahahahahahaaa that SO sucks for you but thank you for making my day better ^___^

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 1 847

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 773

You deserved it 6 969

Today, my mom screamed at me for being startled by her, calling my reaction “unnecessary and extremely rude.” When I tried to explain to her for the millionth time that I startle easily, and it’s involuntary, she told me to “make it voluntary, or else.” I fear what is to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 142

Today, my girlfriend told me what turns her on: cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 185

You deserved it 2 826

Today, I made the egregious mistake of going on RateMyTeachers. My students think that, while I'm a good teacher, I have constant "wardrobe malfunctions" and spill my "bloody ass tampons all over the place like a bitch". I teach 6th graders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 704

You deserved it 522

Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 181

You deserved it 777

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 683

You deserved it 3 284