Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later,...

By Anonymous - 17/2/2015 19:17 - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46188

You deserved it

4062

Favorite

Intimacy

Everyone's an expert

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Yappy neighborhood

By cndpost - 13/11/2009 05:45 - Canada

Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9779

You deserved it

42524

Favorite

By bluebelle - 19/10/2015 11:10 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend brought me a bunny for a house present for moving into our first house. She escaped her cage and bit through the electrical wires, cutting out all our power and electrocuting and killing herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29784

You deserved it

2774

Favorite

By skyeraven - 16/3/2014 20:10 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43753

You deserved it

4599

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/5/2012 22:41 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34928

You deserved it

2450

Favorite

By jill - 25/2/2014 16:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46921

You deserved it

8120

Favorite

By Sariitaa_fml - 18/11/2017 19:00

Today, I was in the romantic section of a book store making fun of the titles. Thinking my friend was behind me, I read in a sexy voice, “Sleeping with a Stranger” and turned to laugh only to find the 70-year-old store manager smiling and winking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3733

You deserved it

1441

Favorite

By alphafoxy21 - 5/5/2011 06:54 - United States

Today, after spending 8 months and $11,000 on school, I was denied a job in my chosen career field. They told me they decided to go with someone with more experience. So who got the job? One of my classmates. This is her first job. EVER. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37762

You deserved it

3722

Favorite

By Mnm54312 - 4/7/2016 07:19 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I moved into a new apartment. While moving boxes, I ran into my supervisor from work. Guess who lives across the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13007

You deserved it

920

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/1/2015 10:27 - Australia - Doncaster

Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40955

You deserved it

5664

Favorite

By SakuraBreeze - 26/9/2011 05:18 - United States

Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26576

You deserved it

2578

Favorite

By it_IS_just_me - 17/7/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42047

You deserved it

9266

Favorite

By HadToApologize - 3/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8286

You deserved it

22817

Favorite

By livvlynette - 27/2/2010 10:15 - Australia

Today, I went to a family funeral. Talking to my grandfather, trying the make chitchat, he says "You're gaining weight, aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

26005

You deserved it

4230

Favorite

By they've been broken up for a year. - 19/11/2012 07:13 - United States - Dallas

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34823

You deserved it

2621

Favorite

By Lilypad - 12/3/2013 00:21 - France - Versailles

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37561

You deserved it

56286

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/9/2019 16:00

No internet, just cuddles

Today, my cat decided that the best place for her to pee was over the surge protector where my modem, router, and printer are plugged in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1406

You deserved it

186

Favorite

By fuckface? I wish - 30/11/2013 20:29 - Australia - Diamond Beach

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60791

You deserved it

5455

Favorite

By saywhat - 26/1/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32984

You deserved it

2791

Favorite

By Kortnie Peterman - 2/7/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend and I found out my Nuva ring comes out quite easily, especially when he manages to hook it around the tip of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3119

You deserved it

417

Favorite

By sore - 19/4/2011 10:03 - Ireland

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10453

You deserved it

81964

Favorite

By sayroshi - 30/6/2016 18:29 - United States

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10304

You deserved it

1291

Favorite

By Meghan Elise - 2/3/2019 16:00

Today, I found that there were charges of almost 2,000 dollars on my bank account. Some asshole in Florida stole my money. I have bills and that was money I saved to buy myself a new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2254

You deserved it

145

Favorite

By friendly_neighbourhood_psycho - 19/8/2011 22:47 - Sweden

Today, I was helping some friends put supplies in my crush's car for our picnic. His girlfriend cracked a joke about me, so I just sarcastically laughed and slammed the door shut. Now she has three broken fingers, and I have a reputation as a psychopath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33214

You deserved it

9325

Favorite

By need_cash_now - 28/4/2013 04:29 - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54131

You deserved it

4418

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/6/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

57676

You deserved it

7739

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/7/2014 16:04 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46206

You deserved it

6752

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/9/2014 00:19 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40876

You deserved it

9795

Favorite

By Sally256 - 3/5/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44533

You deserved it

26938

Favorite

By UsuallyaUnicornbread - 26/11/2014 21:01 - United States - Morrisville

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30434

You deserved it

3291

Favorite

By Igor - 19/12/2012 05:16 - United States - Lansdale

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34194

You deserved it

4070

Favorite

By Stevie - 16/8/2011 06:52 - Canada

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33660

You deserved it

3847

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/7/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, I received an email with a link to a story about a man who lost 650 pounds. I ignored it, until I saw who sent it. My mom, with the message "Maybe there's hope for you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

46677

You deserved it

8817

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/6/2009 16:34 - United States

Today, I got fired from a large oil and energy service company after 5 and 1/2 months. The interview process to land the job took 8 months. My interview process was longer than my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40734

You deserved it

4250

Favorite

By TheOtherWoman - 18/1/2013 17:21 - United Kingdom - Weston-super-mare

Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33005

You deserved it

3282

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/11/2014 15:23 - Australia

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29277

You deserved it

8407

Favorite

By Brady - 30/4/2013 16:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43453

You deserved it

14994

Favorite

By EmbarrassedChild - 30/7/2015 23:24 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my father. As we were leaving, he grabbed a baguette, put it by his crotch, and took a picture with his phone. I'm starting to feel like the parent here. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23259

You deserved it

1888

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/7/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21839

You deserved it

16314

Favorite

By lostandconfused - 31/5/2019 05:00

Today, I was teaching a class of 17-year-old Japanese boys English. Tripping over a school bag, I caught my foot in the bottom of my very loose elastic trousers. I pulled them down with my foot as I stumbled, exposing my underwear to all 40 students. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1611

You deserved it

237

Favorite

By Grimmy - 17/3/2016 08:12 - United States - Brunswick

Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18504

You deserved it

9589

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By _kyleG_ | 34

#6205289 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:16

Who the hell just gives a handjob anyway? That's about as exciting as cheating on your diet with broccoli soda.

By gracehi | 31

#6205291 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:16

Hey, you can't expect your sister to go all the way on a first date. What kind of a girl do you think she is?

Comments

By MissyPastaCreeps | 16

#6205270 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:09

Wow...

incoherentrmblr | 21

#6205517 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 5:03

Counter with a blowjob...

1PersonIsMyWorld | 22

#6205529 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 5:17

ya my sister did the same thing to me. . except he was my fiance. fuck family.

Miss_Whipped | 42

#6207481 - Friday 20 February 2015 6:11

I think he did just that.

By UserOfTheMind | 24

#6205271 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:10

Ouch. That sucks op! I hope you dumped him.

KeannaLove | 32

#6205314 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:32

Yeah it just rubbed OP the wrong way.

kmaheynoway | 25

#6205391 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 1:42

It rubbed her boyfriend the right way, though.

sarahthepony | 5

#6205475 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 4:28

That's the best thing I've read all day.

anonymous100000 | 17

#6205546 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 5:40

and disowned your sister

mackdeezy | 21

#6205640 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 8:37

Welp, ive got to hand it to your sister... not cool at all

Although, not as much as she's handing it to your boyfriend.

By kstephens2326 | 15

#6205275 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:11

Aww that sucks so bad. Not only is he a jerk but your sister doing something like that to you also. I'm sorry op

JayVicious | 20

#6205476 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 4:28

her sister is a jerk for jerking him off

PSYqualiac | 17

#6217819 - Sunday 1 March 2015 12:46

#53 What a jerk off!

By jkp1291 | 25

#6205276 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:12

Actually that's a pretty good question. If the fuckers gonna cheat, he better 'cheat.' Now it's just awkward.

Ms_ValS | 27

#6205359 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 1:13

Yeah if only he had fucked her sister on the dinner table while the family ate. Then she'd have a reason to be angry.

jkp1291 | 25

#6205413 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 2:16

Exactly

JayVicious | 20

#6205478 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 4:29

well that would be dinner and a show.

badgercheese94 | 16

#6205590 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 6:54

Actually its better for the cheater to only get a handjob in a real situation, as it is less likely to get an STD which could be transferred to the girlfriend

mackdeezy | 21

#6205642 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 8:38

I think you're being a tad too hopeful OP still wants to be with this guy, much less fuck this guy

Mauskau | 35

#6205701 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 9:49

If it's a handjob why even bother? Just do it yourself :s

By gary8082 | 14

#6205283 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:14

What a jerk off!

maximus_prime | 24

#6205777 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 11:47

His name might be Hancock and her sister misunderstood.

By _kyleG_ | 34

#6205289 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:16

Who the hell just gives a handjob anyway? That's about as exciting as cheating on your diet with broccoli soda.

lochiamochia | 25

#6205458 - Wednesday 18 February 2015 3:55

If OP's sister is in middle or high school, it would make more sense that she may start off at a hand job. But it's hard to imagine that they hadn't been together prior to this event.