Miscellaneous: Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have... - FML

By trolls have hit the gutters - 17/02/2015 18:23 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 552

You deserved it 4 609

Walk the line

Bat out of Hell

Bad day

By Screwed Up - 09/05/2013 05:30 - United States

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 337

You deserved it 4 280

By Anonymous - 16/03/2013 20:04 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 078

You deserved it 17 087

By in big trouble - 23/08/2014 12:28 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 357

You deserved it 25 903

Timing is important

By effingdoucher - 30/01/2011 06:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 709

You deserved it 10 985

By roo - 27/01/2011 16:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 859

You deserved it 13 380

By embarrassedinretail - 20/01/2010 10:01 - Australia

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 813

You deserved it 4 887

Non refundable

By honeymooner - 28/03/2012 10:47 - South Africa - Braamfontein

Today, I received a coupon for a special offer including flights and accommodation for the honeymoon destination that my fiancé and I are keen on. Yesterday, I paid the full price for the flight tickets and hotel deposit for the honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 431

You deserved it 2 613

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

By Anonymous - 23/02/2021 10:58

Today, I had to cancel a plane ticket to a friend's wedding, because first he gave me the wrong date, after which his fiancée cut me from the guests because of Covid safety. Instead of paying $600 to be in the ceremony, I'm paying $400 to not go anywhere because the ticket could only be partially refunded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 84

By XxrudyxX - 12/10/2018 05:30 - Canada - Fort Saskatchewan

Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike. I bought it a month ago while I recovered from a knee injury. I just got enough strength 2 days ago to ride it. I've only ridden it once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 895

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 03/09/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 318

You deserved it 6 855

By Seule - 29/06/2016 04:07 - Switzerland - Pully

Today, on a movie date with my boyfriend, it took me a while to understand why he was leaning on his elbow during the entire thing. He had an earpiece cupped in his hand and was listening to a soccer match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 154

You deserved it 1 686

By Youdontneed2knowmyname - 05/02/2011 05:29 - United States

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 857

You deserved it 26 595

By Anonymous - 27/06/2019 00:15 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend ran off with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 206

By grace - 13/08/2015 14:54 - United States - New York

Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 455

You deserved it 1 644

Bent out of shape

By Illektra - 18/11/2021 11:00

Today, I was doing my makeup. Halfway through, I asked my SO what he thought of it, as I was working on a new eyeshadow technique. He said my eyeshadow looked great, but that, "One eyebrow is up here and the other is down there," and that I should fix it. I hadn't done my eyebrows yet. That's just where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 124

By AllergicToRosesAndSingle - 15/02/2018 01:30

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with origami roses, as I am highly allergic to real ones. Her response? To scream at me and slam the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 958

You deserved it 419

By hawtpinkpanties - 04/05/2009 12:35 - United States

Today, my grandma gave me a gift, something she's never done before. I was excited, until I found out it was one of her overdue library books about dolphins. I feel so loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 751

You deserved it 3 114

By Undefined - 01/01/2009 12:09 - France

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 281

You deserved it 8 561

By deadandwasted - 20/02/2010 08:20 - United States

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 484

You deserved it 2 432

By Anonymous - 11/03/2019 22:00

Today, I organized a party at my place, invited 20 people, bought snacks and cancelled my workout. Nobody showed up. I ended up eating a whole ciabatta alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 546

You deserved it 229

By lababy - 15/11/2011 17:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 667

You deserved it 21 024

By Anonymous - 08/03/2013 11:29 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my teacher read my story about a haunted house for a class assignment. She liked it very much and turned it in to the office to be sent into a state writing competition. An hour later, I was called to the office where the guidance counselor called my work "disturbing" and said I "need help". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 2 889

By cman - 26/02/2010 11:17 - Romania

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 024

You deserved it 3 115

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 08:57 - United States - Portland

Today, I was excited that my sister called me for the first time in months. She asked me to stop watching "Friends" so she could use the Netflix account. Now, I still have an absentee sister and no Friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 899

You deserved it 3 194

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 919

You deserved it 47 458

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 921

You deserved it 15 212

By veggiegal - 13/02/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 367

You deserved it 7 850

By pictureperfect678 - 19/01/2010 02:06 - United States

Today, I was in one of two hot tubs with my dad at a vacation resort, when 3 good looking guys walked into the pool area. My dad moved to the other hot tub so the guys could hang out in the one I was in. They came outside, passed my hot tub, and went into the one my dad just moved into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 039

You deserved it 4 662

By veggiepower11028 - 31/05/2011 12:02

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 776

You deserved it 8 847

By Bart - 03/07/2015 04:32 - France - Lille

Today, our company was being visited by one of our biggest clients, a rich Japanese businessman. My boss wanted to honour him by welcoming him while wearing a kimono in the reception area of our building. The client was in a suit and tie, and I don't think he'll be back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 271

You deserved it 3 495

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 16:21 - India

Today, a few weeks after moving back to my home country, I found out my diploma isn't recognized here. The only training provider I can find that can upgrade it to something valid wants another 2 years of my life, 500 hours of work experience and $16,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 895

You deserved it 1 441

By hannah - 17/02/2011 05:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 795

You deserved it 4 133

By Noname - 24/02/2009 18:13 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 600

You deserved it 5 249

By ocroyalty - 01/02/2010 07:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 421

You deserved it 2 644

By Anonymous - 25/01/2010 08:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 303

You deserved it 5 045

By grlks - 19/02/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 027

You deserved it 5 851

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 176

You deserved it 1 239

By Julianapilikusplatosophophes - 11/07/2015 03:49 - Australia - Kew

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 833

You deserved it 2 825

By phlyingphuck - 19/07/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 505

You deserved it 4 623

By Anonymous - 18/06/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend of four years decided that the best way to break up with me was to move out of our apartment while I was at work, and then text me a video of himself having sex with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 128

You deserved it 321

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Top comments

RenoTheRhino 30

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:15

Was he a homeless man wearing a suit and with combed hair?

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:17

Classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. Or if you like psychology- he's using projection as a defense mechanism.

Comments

MissyPastaCreeps 16

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:10

He's a jerk.Don't listen to him op.

Mysterious_one 20

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 4:55

op seems to be a jerk, My guess he/she started picking on the homeless guy

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 7:25

That's a very big assumption

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 18:14

At least he didn't bum bump you

StantheMan93 12

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Thursday 19 February 2015 0:46

My take on this was that the homeless man saw OP with trashy clothes. The homeless man can't do anything about him being dirty and gross therefore he gets mad that OP chooses to look that way.

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:13

Because of FML I'm starting to suspect most homeless men are crazy.

swaftmasterj627 12

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 2:26

I would hope so

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 3:31

That's when you know you look like shit

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 14:33

A lot of them are drug addicts, so...

Roskie 16

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Thursday 19 February 2015 8:14

Well, a site dedicated to stories of misfortune and stupidity isn't exactly the place to go for a positive depiction of people.

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:15

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

RenoTheRhino 30

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:15

Was he a homeless man wearing a suit and with combed hair?

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 2:36

Most likely was, according to the man OP was dealing with, being homeless is not an excuse for looking raggedy. He is obviously an upper-crust homeless man. They have a social ladder too.

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 2:38

He most likely was. He must have been a upper-crust homeless man. Who are we to deny homeless people of their own materialistic social ladder?

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 2:42

Oops, didn't realize it already sent

laurenswims13 24

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:15

What's up with homeless men and tier rude comments? He's probably just going through a rough time OP, don't take it to personally. I'm sure you look amazing

laurenswims13 24

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 1:32

Their**

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Thursday 19 February 2015 2:42

To be fair, you only hear about the rude comments coming from homeless men on FML. Not very accurate to imply that they are like that.

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Thursday 19 February 2015 2:44

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm confusing your comment with the intention of saying that all homeless men are that way, but it comes across that way. Sorry for any confusion.

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:17

Classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. Or if you like psychology- he's using projection as a defense mechanism.

AnOriginalName 19

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:50

What, just because he's homeless means he isn't allowed to have some self-respect?

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 6:19

Self-respect, sure. Everyone has their inherent human dignity. But a right to insult someone else just because they're going though a rough time? No.

Vestin 18

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 9:20

#6 If you like logic, on the other hand, most comments here are examples of the tu quoque fallacy. To quote Wikipedia: "although the person being attacked might indeed be acting inconsistently or hypocritically, such behavior does not invalidate the position presented". In other words - hobo may have a point.

Adrian_Robber 6

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:19

I'm not saying that all homeless people are dirty but this is very ironic.... And dont listen to him OP

hippodankamus 22

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:20

I would've said "Look who's talking, pal." Just ignore him OP.

MyDadLeftMeInKFC 21

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:23

Some people just like to hurt others to feel better about themselves.

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Wednesday 18 February 2015 0:27

Sounds like he came from the YouTube comment section

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 6

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 64

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 227