Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML
Today, my dad drunkenly ranted about how I should volunteer for the military because of the crisis in the Middle East. I refused; I'm in college on two scholarships and have listened to stories of why his service still gives him nightmares. I had to hide all the phones to keep him from calling the recruiters. FML
Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML
Today, my dad looked me dead in the eyes and told me that if I wanted to join the Lingerie Football League, I would have his approval. His drunken friends nodded in agreement. FML
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Top comments
lol_ironic_life 9
You being man enough to stand up for your country does not make you a pussy. :) Thank you for wanting to serve and protect us!
EddiE_CN 8
Don't visit him when you are on leave
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Comments (216)
tranger24 0
Dude my dad said the same thing. Guess what I'm. Sergeant in the Air Force.
pvtroshambo 0
It's very different then you think.
sadistic_chemica 0
No war will make you a man, join with good intentions and you will be rewarded
lowshadows 21
ok guys as a fellow army soldier all I gotta say is this. we all.work for the same guy who signs our paychecks so I don't a **** who they say is better. OP whatever you choose is fine with me, competition theses days r ****** retarded. As long as I get paid makes no difference.
Sigil 11
I'm sorry 787+ people, but no one deserves that!
some_girl9 8
So go join and prove that asshole wrong!
Yung23 0
Lmfao
HunterAlpha1 8
the whole point of the Army is to take ******* and turn them into men! hope you don't get buttraped in the shower though, they're allowed to do that now :-(
cunningchick 1
Don't worry thts wht the army is made up of,x)
HeXr 22
Doesn't the army accept almost everyone? The "If you can hold a gun you can fight" thing, no?