Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s birthday party. I slipped and fell onto the table of presents, knocking each one of them over, pulling a muscle in the process. My friend bitched me out for not being careful and “ruining” his presents. I got kicked out. FML
Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
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Top comments
OysterPearls 33
You should feel like an asshole, are you in sixth grade? I didn't know then"kick me" gag was still existent.
_FML_Austin_ 12
Were you not expecting some one to kick him? F that random guys life, not yours...
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Comments (91)
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
Your not the asshole, it's the guy who kicked him and got his ass beat. Everyone knows that a joke, dude got his ass beat for a good reason
spacey_blueberry 18
F your life? Should be f his life! Or the life of the guy who got beat up! Try and be careful next time OP
BobbieH 19
You are a total asshole, so you're right on track. I really hope your friend gets the opportunity to give you the beating you deserve. The guy who took up the offer deserves the ass whooping he got. However, you created the problem all on your own. As such, you really do deserve the ass kicking you seem to have sneaked out of getting.
haynicole 7
I don't understand why everyone is calling the friend an asshole (come on. Humor between friends.) and completely ignoring the fact that some stranger kicked someone else. It is not the OPs fault that the stranger kicked someone. Sure it was shitty that OP tried to hide it but it still doesn't change the fact that the stranger was not forced and did it of his own free will and suffered the consequences.
SuperMew 22
I have never met someone who put signs on someone else. I always figured they were funny gags people did in the 90s on TV. However, that said, the stranger did *kick* your friend. Putting a stupid sign on someone's back is one thing, kicking a stranger is another.
TheMediator 5
I feel like I should say you're an asshole, but that's hilarious. Good job man. Perhaps stick it to a less violence inclined person next time.
AFaye3964 17
I bet you feel like a straight up dick.
systemofadylan 9
Well, the guy DID try to assault him
Animekid126 13
Is this really a big deal? It was just a small prank that turned into a big event coincidentally. People on FML are too critical, I'm sure you're not Mr/Misses mature 24/7
tashb 17
Id kick you back if I ever found out.