Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML
Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Jesus. You're an arachnophobic living in Australia. FYL, OP.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Rule #2: Always Double Tap.
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Comments (130)
LobsterWhiskers 4
When in doubt, keep flailing the magazine.
JD1147 27
Hmm... I posted an FML like this, almost exactly the same, about 2 weeks ago but it didn't get past moderation...
mac8080 7
Kill it with fire If u see it again
cypherwars 15
now it will come back with Aragog to take revenge OP :)
False_Stupidity 42
Thus begins the spider zombie apocalypse...
fffianist 9
Don't worry, OP. I also have arachnophobia and we've been living in Brisbane for the last 10 years. All the summer spiders are just starting to crawl out of their lairs. Even though I break down in tears whenever I'm near anything with 5+ legs, my family refuses to believe I have a phobia and thinks our insect infestation can be solved with a few rolled up newspapers and elbow grease, the same as they think every year.
Nilorak 24
At least it wasn't ants.
Klona 7
Rule #2 - Double Tap
BoltTheSuperdog 22
Just don't swallow it in your sleep, OP!
Laxinitup 18
When dealing with spiders confirm your kill. Always confirm your kill... And never turn your back on them, ever.