Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML
Today, I finally conquered my fear of spiders by catching one in a cup and releasing it outside. Feeling proud of my bravery, I proudly showed my accomplishment to my roommate, only to realize it wasn't a spider but a piece of lint. I screamed louder than I would have for a spider. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Jesus. You're an arachnophobic living in Australia. FYL, OP.
RoboCunnilingus 23
Rule #2: Always Double Tap.
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Comments (130)
DenBriZel 31
I FEEL YOUR PAIN AND IM SO SORRY
JMichael 26
It'll be like the giant chicken for Family Guy. It'll always come back and you two will always somehow meet up again.
dreadbeat69 12
News flash: there are always going to be spiders in your house
Kibaruto 33
They both can smell fear.
sezzamozzy 9
Useless fact for you- the average person eats 8 spiders in their life time while asleep. Since you tried killing an innocent spider because you are scared of it, I hope this information keeps you awake at night! Spiders only are aggressive when provoked so if you would like to stay bite free, stop trying to kill them.
Levvy 22
Useful fact for you: The factoid you're citing was explicitly made up as an example of how people will believe anything widely disseminated enough on the internet. Ask yourself how this information would have been acquired in the first place if it were true. That being said, though, your point of "Don't kill harmless animals for no reason" is hard to disagree with, at least for those who aren't utterly egocentric. Spiders aren't even "aggressive when provoked". Biting something that has physically trapped you doesn't really count as aggression.
ZY1431 24
good night sleep tight don't let the dead bite.
fyl7899 12
Even after I kill a spider and it falls off the wall it always manages to disappear. I so hate that.
JoBHarvelle 7
I'd be sleeping elsewhere then...
JunglePanfa 11
You shouldn't kill a creature just because of your irrational phobia, it's cruel. This is assuming they aren't harmful poisonous spiders of course. I always put a glass over them, slide some card underneath making sure not to damage their legs, and take them outside... Far, far away :) No need to kill them at all!
squideth 18
Thank you. I'm afraid of people irrationally but I don't murder them. Spiders are literally more useful to this earth than we are and people proudly kill them, it's pathetic.
P1Nk13 7
This has happened to me before! Although, I'm pretty sure my cat ate it.