By Anonymous - 25/11/2015 17:30 - Switzerland - Corminboeuf
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its a selfish decision to say you don't want kids... I can only imagine if your parents too hated kids and poisoned you as a baby..you deft won't be here...
20 "if your parents hated kids and poisoned you as a baby" Holy comprehension leap Batman! OP said they probably won't have kids not that if they had kids they'd kill them! Also please explain how it's selfish to not want kids? Seriously I'm trying to connect those dots.
20, my husband and may not have kids, this funny thing where we are drowning in student loan debt, don't make tons of money and work extremely long hours. Every one has different circumstances and reasons for their decisions in life, although I'm glad you apparently have the means to easily have a family.
20- As the daughter of a man who knew he didn't want kids but couldn't be bothered to wear a fucking condom, nothing good comes from having kids that you don't want. The very few times I had any contact with him, he didn't even try to hide his resentment and was often verbally abusive. He has another daughter that I now have custody of. Her mom died in a car accident when she was about a year old. I immediately filed for custody of her because I didn't want her anywhere near him. He never even showed up for the custody hearing. He isn't a part of her life at all, which is better for her in the long run, but she has reached an age where she knows other kids have dads that are a part of their lives and has started asking questions. It's absolutely heart breaking to have a 5 year old asking what is wrong with her and why her dad won't come see her and why he hates her. So no, it's not selfish to not want or have kids. What is selfish is you saying everyone should have kids even if they don't want them. It's their body and their life, therefore it's their choice. Someone deciding that they don't want kids doesn't affect your life in the slightest. You don't have to agree with a person's choice to not have kids, but you have no right to call them selfish and make them feel guilty for making that choice.
Which is worse? Realizing you don't like children and having them anyway to please someone and end up resenting the kid(s) or to just not have kids and disappoint your parents? I'm pretty sure it's the first one.
Right? Every time I mention how I do not want kids, people just disregard it like "oh you're young, you'll change your mind later." Or they give me this concerning look followed by a big "WHY?" Ugh... Like, no. I have thought about it. Intensely. I still don't want them.
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Other people's children is always a huge difference. I didn't like them either... always snotty nose, sticky fingers, touchy touchy everything... Now I that have my own son, all that stuff still happens and it still bothers me, but it's nothing compared to the joy of having your very own child and seeing how he/she develops, starts walking, speaking, dancing and grows a personality.
I have met many well behaved, respectful, well mannered children, and I've also met MANY rowdy, ill mannered children. Despite seeing both sides, and the joy children bring to many parents, I don't want kids of my own. I haven't liked babies since I was around 7 years old, still don't like them at 17, and I don't expect my views to change by the time I'm 27, not even if they're my own.