By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 17:36 - United States - Saint Paul
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If you're unhappy, get out the of the situation. Keeping her son happy isn't worth the cost of your happiness
The poor kid is already her son, so, unfortunately, he's probably damned to having psychological issues in the future whether you leave her or not. I say you should leave her.
Never a good reason to stay with somebody though, could end up more upsetting for the wee guy :(
I would like to know how many "months" are in question here. She should not be encouraging her child to call you daddy after just a few months. I know everyone's instinct is to protect the child from the psychotic bitch, but honestly, that isn't your job. The only connection you have to this child is that you had the misfortune of meeting and dating his mother. Women are going to hate me for this, and I'm sure I'll burn in hell for saying it, but guys, you need to think about why you are in such a hurry to jump in and be a father to a child that isn't yours? My ex is "daddy" to my two kids; however, he isn't the biological father of either child. We were together for a long time. He raised my children since they were babies, and he continues to take my children every other weekend, as their father, even though we are no longer together. That kind of arrangement has to work on both ends though. I'm willing to let the man who is not the biological father of my children take them to his home every other weekend and let them spend time with him and his new wife. Is this "psychotic" and abusive woman going to let you continue to see her son after you reach your limit and break it off with her? What effect do you think it will have on this poor kid when his mom tells you he isn't your kid, and you aren't allowed to see him anymore? What effect will that have on you, after you've bonded with him as father and son? What good are you really doing by staying and allowing the kid to watch his mom abuse you daily? You need to exit this situation as soon as possible. It is bad for everyone involved.
If she is abusive towards you, I would have to wonder if her 5 year old is enduring the same thing? If so, I'd say get out of the relationship and look into ways of getting her help.
Dump her while the kid is young. You're obviously not happy with her and it's not going to last. Older kids have a harder time adjusting to things like divorce or people they consider their parents leaving. Even though it may suck now, it won't be fair to the kid to wait until he's older.
I feel like she told him to do that. Either way, run. I hate to say it and I hope things work out better than I think they will, but if she's truly an abusive psycho, the effect of your leaving will probably be small potatoes compared to anything that woman puts that poor boy through. You need to leave.
But it is possible. I have a classmate who is also majoring in the same field as me(social work). She got custody of her ex-boyfriend's son even though she's not the real mother. The environment was very toxic but she fought hard. If OP has a case like my classmate did then he can do it if he wants. :)