Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
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Comments (273)
Psiren 0
haha pwnt fat girls need to wear signs to point out which conditions they do and don't have well that and blinkers...
fmlwinnn 0
15- Asking Alexandria = <3!
MetalFish 0
FYL OP. I hope that fat bitch falls off her stupid moped again!
RFetsch 0
Fake.
substitutes 0
Ydi
RFetsch 0
Fake.
illmatic2 16
You're an idiot.
ThereIsNoFork 0
You give eminem a bad name dude.
shhhitsasecret 0
ha. I think eminen gives eminem a bad name.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Eminem wasn't a great name to begin with.
lovesteph3523 0
well she should be grateful that you helped you
de2391 7
she got called fat i think she got her poor feeling her and took it out on op
pachecogirl 0
why would you say that? never say that! gosh, everyone knows that.
Sethlikesgirls 0
what school do you go to?
kool_me 0
-44 obviously op doesnt know that or else this fml wouldn't be posted! -op learn to be more polite example are you alright mam would be more appropriate
lovesteph3523 0
her*
Person1233 13
FYL. I hate dealing with fat people in everyday life. We should ship them off to deserted islands in the Pacific.
de2391 7
can make a tv show out of it put them all on an island with no food and make them kill each other for the food
MetalFish 0
I'd watch that.
illmatic2 16
Sounds a lot like the biggest loser.
UnluckyChicka 0
WHAT IS WRONG WITH U PEOPLE??? that's so horrible! (btw- I'm not fat, I'm a competetice gymnast, but I also protect peoples rights and you people are bastards)
phatdaddy62 23
cool. Fiji?