Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (273)
lizardking7106 0
I feel bad for the moped
phatdaddy62 23
dude. I learned 40 years ago, NEVER assume a woman is pregnant unless and until she tells you she is pregnant. YDI. hopefully lesson learned.
johnblack101 0
I guess that would have been kind-of upsetting for her.... but still, she had no right to hit you with her purse. I would have slapped an assault charge on her. Nobody has the right to lay their hands on another person when it is not welcome, doesn't matter who they are, or the circumstances.
jrgr 6
how rude of her..u were just trying to help
mackisballin 0
lmao :)
Tootsiee 0
You then had the right to hit her in her babyless stomach.
bloobelly 0
omg! embarrassing. I've done that once. awkward!!!
julie3841 11
"blindsided by her brick of a purse" heh, I like that. I know you meant well but the whole is-she-pregnant-or-not thing..if it's not brought up no one's offended.
katelynjoy 0
lol ummm.... I don't even know what to say except epic failure. I feel bad for both people0.o
jinxthejinx 0
NEVER ASSUME A WOMAN IS PREGNANT, NOT EVEN AS SHE IS GIVING BIRTH.