Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
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Comments (273)
de2391 7
nerver assume a woman is pregant. you have much to learn
ThereIsNoFork 0
As do you.
HappyPickles 11
@138: Indeed - it was only in the time of the parent of most people here when it was a compliment to remark on someone being pregnant. That's been spoiled now...
Chri55yT33n 0
Stupid cow. If I were as large as she sounds, I'd rather someone think I was pregnant than fat!
RoccoRox 0
fat people shouldn't ride mopeds.
de2391 7
noone should ride mopeds
homicidaltendenc_fml 0
Very true...
sourgirl101 29
What about the people on vacation in the Bahamas looking for some conch fritters?!!!
libbylouwho 0
It is however, hilarious to imagine a morbidly obese person on a lil' moped! Kinda like "fat guy in a little coat", Rip Chris Farley
Eroe 0
I agree.
SpazzyJazzy325 0
pregnant people don't ride mopeds
SillySister 0
You never ever assume that somebody's pregnant unless they tell you so.
husky88 1
disagree,huge ydi for all fat people who are too lazy to work out.
DocBastard 40
Obvious troll is obvious.
Hummbinger 5
If they told you they were pregnant then it wouldn't be an assumption. ;)
justin_brdfrd 0
fhl for bein a fat bitch
MC_Telepathy 0
hahaha wordd
MrFerret 0
Just like pregnant women never drink or shoot up smack, yea that never ******* happens.
Jessi_the_sexii 0
mopeds scare me D:
BrookeBabe92 0
Lmao, that pretty funny, but FYL.
ElectricGhost_fml 5
haha sorry if I keep looking at your picture =P it's cuz I like looking at snake bites cuz I want them so yea haha I'm no lesbö to tho haha
Eroe 0
Her picture is obviously fake, it's on Google. If it even is a "she".
WTFreversed 5
actually people photos can go on google from Facebook and myspace so you don't really know
whiterabbit420 4
pregnant or fat should not ride mopeds, to avoid situations like this. fat men should continue to ride mopeds though cause it's funny.
sourgirl101 29
Funny like them owning a smart car funny?
shhhitsasecret 0
omg! there's a ginormous woman in my town who drives a smart car. it's so funny.
misfitSuperStar 0
130- maybe she could get with the enormous guy that drives a smart car in my town?! I hear Cupid.......
rockefoe 6
maybe to him is WAS extremely obvious