Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, my drunk sister threw up on me while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
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Top comments
SheTheOtaku 21
Did she offer to help you get clean at least? It's possible she was having a terrible day and accidentally aimed her anger at you.
604 11
Quick! Buy a lottery ticket. I've heard that's good luck.
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Comments (66)
Medieval_Unicorn 24
No good deed goes unpunished my friend. Perhaps she was trying to drink away her menstrual instability as well?
SheTheOtaku 21
Did she offer to help you get clean at least? It's possible she was having a terrible day and accidentally aimed her anger at you.
purplebabytacos1 14
Well it did say in the post that she was drunk. Who the hell knows what made her drink in the first place.
incoherentrmblr 22
40 Year Old Virgin all over again...
rioc0719 12
She literally aimed her anger at the OP.
bugandhi 7
Anger wasn't the only thing she aimed at him
StupidMonkey497 16
I think that's what #32 was intending to say
604 11
Quick! Buy a lottery ticket. I've heard that's good luck.
thevelociraptor 31
I don't think there is anything lucky about being thrown up on.
FlyingLeumer 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Preggers I'd reckon! That or wasted as hell
Dthsapprntc 23
Considering the FML starts with "Today, I saw a drunk woman..." I'm gonna go with wasted. And let's all hope she's not pregnant as well.
introductionn 13
Man, she was probably just having a horrible day. You could take an implication that since she was drunk, she might've been trying to get something off her mind, & then this little incident got her all flustered. She may just have overreacted & gotten angry at first because she wasn't having the 'best of times', then realized she was overreacting, apologized, & freaked out again. It's called being bipolar; it happens. Hope she gets better, & sorry you had to deal with that, OP.
Phoebe18 14
Or she could have just been a regular drunk. A lot of people get emotional and have crazy mood swings while they are drunk.
introductionn 13
I know, #25, & I hear you. I'm just sayin', some people don't think about the other persons point of view sometimes. Have you ever just had one of 'those' days?
soulreaper12296 28
You don't get bipolar by being drunk or having a bad day. Either you have the disorder or you don't.
mesutozil11 13
That's nasty did she help you out after
IllestRated 17
Cocaine is a hell of a drug
thevelociraptor 31
So is booze
IllestRated 17
I don't think alcohol is a drug.. Poison maybe
The_4th_Doctor 13
The FML said drunk, not high..
inner_peace 19
#33 a drug is any substance that can be taken that alters the body or mind in any way. Alcohol is categorized as a depressant, which is a type of drug.
srudez 14
at least you got hugged....
zBLAKEz 23
This is one of the most WTF FMLs I've ever read.
zandalee 20
Some people should never ever get drunk.
ImAFaker 29
*Alien Guy* Alcohol
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
She's probably confused before she got drunk as to whether to be happy or angry that Netherlands obtain 3rd place in World Cup.
Nymeria_fml 25
How long did you stay there to see so many emotions!?
False_Stupidity 42
Probably not long, drunk people can go through a whole range of emotions in a short space of time.