Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
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Comments (273)
DocBastard 40
I think MrFerret forgot to take his happy pills today.
cradle6 13
no good deed goes unpunished
Mere155 0
Haha roflmfao
hawtstuff92 0
fyl. I asked a woman who looked pregnant when her baby was due, and I was told to "f off, I'm not pregnant bitch"
skittle68 0
No, I agree with mr. ferret. when my sister was 5 months pregnant, she went on the swings at an amusement park and got asked if she was pregnant, and she acted offended so she could still go on the ride. she knew she would be fine, and she was, but the point is that pregnant women do things they shouldn't all the time.
KayleeFrye 39
First off, OP, unless a woman is wearing a shirt that says "Baby On Board," NEVER ask or assume she's pregnant. Second, I really hate how everyone thinks it's OK to be rude to overweight people. Yes, it's unhealthy. You may not find it attractive. And while their are some cases where weight issues are purely medical, I think we can all agree that a large percentage of overweight people don't exercise or eat right. But HOW the HELL is that a good reason to be so cruel? I was once a bit overweight, and I worked my ass off to change my lifestyle, and I am now at a healthy weight and living a (relatively) healthy life. But I will NEVER forget how mean people were. There is NO excuse for that kind of cruelty!
I_have_no_clue 0
Firefly FTFW!!!!!!!!!!
TheZarola 10
There are excuses.
HappyPickles 11
@106: WTF? Have I misunderstood, or are you truly saying that OP was "making fun" of the lady?? How can any reasonable person misconstrue genuine concern for someone's welfare for mocking them? Are you really saying that obese people are all such psychotic, self-pitying, bitter balls of lard that they feel they have the right to physically assault someone who is helping and showing genuine concern if that person mistakenly thinks they're pregnant rather than being obese? OP's action is actually the exact **opposite** of what you're complaining about. So what interpretation would you prefer people make? That a woman with a large stomach is probably pregnant - or that a woman with a large stomach is just a fatty? Wow - if I have understood your post correctly, then it's childish attitudes like those that are causing the growing rudeness and lack of concern for others in so many cultures today. And if I have misunderstood, then I am quite prepared to be corrected.
Skankles 0
144 - Maybe, just maybe, she had been referring to the people who were posting rude and ignorant comments... Also, your interpretation was a little far fetched. Don't you think?
I_have_no_clue 0
144 I am pretty sure her comment was about these assholes making rude comments about overweight people. And you talk about rudeness and lack of concern for others and you called the woman a cow. Wow.
KayleeFrye 39
My comment WAS directed to the rude posters, not the OP. Sorry if that wasn't clear. I actually think the OP was very nice to help the woman up, whether she was pregnant or not. I was just pissed at the ignorant F*cks making comments about weight.
Skankles 0
No. Your post wa clear. Pickles is just a fucktard trying to sound smarter thaneveryone.
Skankles 0
was*
FFML_314 12
He misunderstood her comment. That doesn't mean he's a "fucktard." It was an honest mistake. He even stated, "If I'm misunderstood, I'm prepared to be corrected." His comment made perfect sense to me.
HappyPickles 11
I called the woman a cow for whacking the person who had just helped her over the head with her purse. And I was showing concern for the person who had been so whacked.
HappyPickles 11
@106, 162, Ok, I stand corrected. @166, Not that I necessarily agree with your opinion, but I do really like the use of the word "fucktard". ... Although possibly inappropriate in the context of this FML, would you think?
hawtstuff92 0
106- i totally agree. one of my best best best friends is really overweight, and she gets made fun of all the time.
ilynorrington 0
how would she kno the babys ok?
babygurl753 0
wow ur rude
Hughmadd 0
Rude? He's probably one in twenty people that will still help someone out when they fall from a moped. Sure, depending on the woman's weight, it may have been wrong of him to assume something like that, but Jesus ******* Christ, what impress people these days and is considered "polite"?
luvpink257 0
LMAO. this made my day :D