Embarrassing, Dogs and Animals: Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob....

By budbunny13 - 30/06/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 681

You deserved it 63 992

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 394

By what-the-what - 29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 774

You deserved it 298

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 648

You deserved it 7 399

By ouchh - 11/09/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 930

You deserved it 7 319

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 588

You deserved it 22 036

By crap - 24/02/2014 04:01 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 949

You deserved it 3 233

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 189

You deserved it 5 239

By Tickdick - 24/03/2017 21:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I got out of the shower and noticed a tiny leaf on my penis. With legs. Squirming. I have a new nickname. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 316

You deserved it 552

Poor little guy

By anonymous - 16/09/2022 02:30 - United States - Maryville

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw my cat in the bathtub while I was in it. I had to go to the emergency room to get my penis stitched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 335

You deserved it 116

By laundryduty - 15/06/2019 20:14

Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 177

paigemosier 1

Friday 1 July 2011 8:36

the ****

chimp4494 0

Friday 1 July 2011 8:36

first time having a dog?

Comments

hokesmash 0

Friday 1 July 2011 17:00

nice,wow u could of just looked in a book.You've never seen it before?? geez. amature I've had dogs for like 15yrs

munkeyboom123 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 9:35

yeah of course you would know what it is. youve had them for fifteen yrs. for all you know the OP could have just fotten a dog.

snafu63 0

Friday 1 July 2011 17:07

wow, you're kind of a dim bulb huh?

doglover339 4

Friday 1 July 2011 17:08

I also freaked out when I first got my dog!!

victo890 11

Friday 1 July 2011 17:19

didn't you know that ur dog was a boy ????? !!!!!!!

santosromero718 1

Friday 1 July 2011 17:20

you're on dumb braud.

ImInABox 6

Friday 1 July 2011 17:25

I've known that since I was 7.. That's just.. Sad.

pie97 0

Friday 1 July 2011 17:30

No shit, Sherlock

elmorous 0

Friday 1 July 2011 17:37

oh my incision hurts ... lol

country_babe 0

Friday 1 July 2011 17:52

are you really that stupid?

tucansam555 3

Friday 1 July 2011 17:58

red rocket!

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Embarrassing Social Media Work Facebook Virginity Sex Intimacy Health School Painful Love Tinder Awkward Dating Skincare Anxiety Relatable Sextoys Poopoo peepee Kids Art Covid Birthday Relationship advice Cars Transportation Family Gross Neighbours Lonely

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Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 431

You deserved it 236

Today, to spice things up a bit, my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner, so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 101

You deserved it 36 910

The Top

Today, I had an art class with my girlfriend. The teacher assigned "anti-cards", or cards for unusual or bad occasions. My girlfriend decided to make a "break-up" card, and I helped her write the poem inside it. After class, she gave it to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 242

You deserved it 6 463

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 947

You deserved it 4 312

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 527

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 046

You deserved it 37 316

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 974

You deserved it 7 355

Today, I went to give my boyfriend head, and his dick tasted like condoms. I'm 5 months pregnant, we obviously don't use condoms. He got scared when I stopped and told him, then he got mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 264

Same thing different taste

Poor little guy

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