Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic...

By laundryduty - 15/06/2019 20:14

Today, I was doing laundry at work. I work at a spay/neuter clinic and was about to throw in a load of towels when I noticed something in the washer. It looked like one of the detergent packets we use. It was a testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 181

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Same thing different taste

By g_unit - 10/12/2009 05:24 - Canada

Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 665

You deserved it 2 617

Repair this

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 06:01

Today, at my appliance job, we received a used dryer that needed to be fixed. I took it in the back room to test it. I plugged it in and turned it on. It started to smell so bad that I went to shut it down, but before I did I see two used condoms fly out of the back vent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 57

By ohEw - 09/11/2017 10:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 019

You deserved it 273

By beep_guacamole - 24/05/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 346

You deserved it 4 631

By anonymous - 17/05/2016 00:29 - United States - Ashland

Today, at the laundromat. I loaded a huge load into the top dryer, put all the quarters in, and started the bottom one. I realized my mistake when I came to check on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 174

You deserved it 3 837

By crap - 24/02/2014 04:01 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 966

You deserved it 3 240

Laundry day

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 363

You deserved it 24 967

By kaydebug - 15/08/2018 03:30

Today, while doing self-checkout at Walmart, the cap of my laundry detergent came off as I scanned it and dumped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 967

You deserved it 212

Smooth move

By nicole - 27/05/2011 20:52 - United States

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 352

You deserved it 78 727

By Help - 16/09/2011 16:20 - Australia

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 083

You deserved it 2 051

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 15 June 2019 20:32

Did you check to see if you still had both of yours?

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 17 June 2019 2:44

Balls to that job!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 15 June 2019 20:32

Did you check to see if you still had both of yours?

BJ1988 11

Sunday 16 June 2019 11:11

Neutered your dog it makes them less nuts

nonameDE 11

Sunday 16 June 2019 21:16

Oh. That is a completely new conclusion how spay works...

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 17 June 2019 2:42

That was a neutering. You spay a female.

BurnInDemonFire 35

Monday 17 June 2019 2:44

Balls to that job!

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Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 1 902

Today, I got a job with a filmmaking company, turned up on my first day, and now I know why I'd never heard of the company before. Porn. They were making porn, all kinds of disgusting porn. I quit so fast I was barely even there. This was the only job offer I’ve had since graduation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 9 122

The Top

Today, I was listening to my favorite albums by the Prodigy. Most are from the '90s, with one from 2015. I caught myself thinking about how much better it is than what's out now. It was then that I realized that I AM the old curmudgeon who complains about "today's music." FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 254

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 174

You deserved it 6 751

Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 842

You deserved it 10 928

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 252

You deserved it 5 602

Today, my family was going to have lunch with my parents' friends, who have a kid my age who is very similar to me, and is really cute. I wanted their number to see if it could turn into something beyond friendship, so I dressed up cute and did extra flawless makeup. All for the lunch to be canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 209

Today, my mom is furious that I won’t let her babysit my kids anymore. Twice they’ve come home with vomiting and diarrhea after she let them eat nothing but desserts the entire day. Her excuse? Grandmas are supposed to spoil their grandkids. Spoil, not give them diabetes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 139

Same thing different taste

Repair this

Laundry day

Smooth move

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