Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML
Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said, "See you in Kansas." FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
I thought the stereotype was the weatherman is never right.
akallaan 7
Damn you!
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Comments (136)
stormchaser24 24
HAARP (High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program) which some people say can control weather. But it can't. But the US government has the ability to do so. We signed a Weather Warfare treaty in 1976 I believe. So the technology is out there but it DID NOT cause those tornadoes.
rawr_ily96 24
I have no clue why this is getting thumbed down at the moment. There is actually a method of causing rain called cloud seeding.
Shrike 24
Well, time to break out the tin-foil hats... ... and straightjackets...
K410 18
Why would the U.S government use this technology on their own soil and cause billions of dollars in damage they can't afford? Man conspiracy theorists are retards lmao
TheDrifter 24
Gotta keep the people down. Only when the people have nothing left can the government seize absolute control of the citizenry. Next they'll be trying to license free speech man, you watch, it's coming. *heads out to restock on tinfoil*
ironichalibut 24
I don't know, this guy might know his $#!+ with a name like "stormchaser24"
djxerxes9000 18
HAARP is used by the US military. Since when did the military ever use anything thats not a weapon? Its used to **** around with the ionosphere, sheeple need to research things before rolling their eyes and dismissing it all as "conspiracy theories"
Shrike 24
See, nobody with a brain takes you people seriously, because you use dumbass terms like "sheeple" and immediately dismiss anyone who disagrees with you as WRONG or "sheep". That and the total lack of credible evidence to back up most conspiracy theories. You guys are almost on the same level as ranting apocalyptic street preachers.
jelly713 19
16 is right. HAARP exists but its for scientific research, it can for example, make it rain. But conspirators think it's used for more malicious purposes, like causing climate disasters. They think so because HAARP is a private government facility not open to the public for security reasons so conspirators think it's for malicious purposes. But let's think here, would you really want the average civilian going into a facility with the potential of changing with the weather because they decided to touch machinery that they should not be messing with? No. It makes sense why it's not open to the public & why conspirators & other scientists have concerns about HAARP. It's delicate research that needs to be handled by the right people but I personally do not believe disastrous climate changes would be intentional. I do not believe the scientists would choose to cause devastating tragedies like the Oklahoma tornados. I don't even think HAARP had anything to do with the Oklahoma tornados. Just thought I should throw in some perspective.
Axipiter 24
59, I was going to thumb you up, but I realized if I did, The Man would find out I agree with you, since they would be able to trace my location. Then they'd bust into my tiny apartment, making a spectacle for all the other tenants living there to observe. I would then disappear and never be heard from again, because I clearly know too much. You're an idiot. Baaa.
Paris25_fml 11
The U.S. Government used nuclear weapons on our own soil. We are still affected by those experiments today. Also, as long as there are people left in America the government can afford anything. If there was something we couldn't afford our politicians would be better financiers but as we all know, they suck with budgets.
monnanon 14
they tested the weapon in a testing ground not on their own populace.
EvilUndead 9
59, military also has office workers that use paper clips, pens, pencils, coffee mugs, etc. By your logic those are weapons too. Oh, and don't forget military food.
Axipiter 24
Hey, I can fashion a damned good shiv with a paper clip...
saffy66 34
Finally someone who has heard if this? For the trivia buffs, British band Muse have an album called H.A.A.R.P. it is named after this project; they like to name songs after scientific & psychological experiments & phenomena. Think Stockholm Syndrome, MK ULTRA & Butterflies & Hurricanes.
AngrySailor 17
Most things that have the capability to be used maliciously, are eventually used so. I'm sure the US military is well aware of their little "research" projects capabilities!
ArchangelOKC 8
Yeah, because the US govt has such. great history of abiding by treaties...
rawr_ily96 24
What the actual ****? Is this what conspiracy theorists are coming to? So desperate to overthrow the government that they are blaming unstoppable weather tragedies on weathermen and the government?
ChristopherM_fml 16
According to Google (meaning this might be wrong), the nut job has the conspiracy wrong. HAARP would just let the US have incredible signals for communication. And block signals for any electronic devices. HAARP wasn't to create weather disasters.
Catkam623 27
As opposed to the imagined ****?
rawr_ily96 24
Of course, there's also the flying ****.
olpally 33
You really can't fix stupid. My god... :/
Mr_Satan 11
Sure you can, it's a shame murder is illegal, though...
icecoldfml 7
It's only illegal if we get caught tho... Hm...
olpally 33
Yeah, I wish we could murder the stupid people.
gunnerblaster 21
The Organization is on to us. El Psy Congroo.
freezeangel 11
Steins;Gates
ironichalibut 24
Storm was a lady! This would be a new hero! I'd go with the name "Zephyr", that would make an awesome superhero name and sounds masculine enough.
theworldismad 10
I guess you couldn't have predicted that
PipingMouse 14
Small-time weatherman by day, part-time wizard by night. "Your a wizard, Harry!"
ironichalibut 24
Storm was a lady! This would be a whole new superhero! I'd pick the name "Zephyr", for a male hero with weather powers, sounds awesome and has a masculine ring to it, at least in my mind.
r8_fml 6
I guess you made them *removes shades* OKLAHOMELESS
LadyNatasha 4
While he's most likely right about HAARP spawning those tornadoes, he's ******* stupid for yelling at you over it. Sigh.