Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML
Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said, "See you in Kansas." FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
I thought the stereotype was the weatherman is never right.
akallaan 7
Damn you!
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Comments (136)
Seduced83 9
Only guy that can wing it on a daily occasion. Always expect the weather to be opposite to what they say and there the only ones that never get fired. Yet make ridiculous comments like wake up in the morning and say "what you see is what you get" lmfao no shit Sherlock seems like a sweet gig to me... Free money for constant bullshit. I know was a little off topic but ya your life sucks, some crazy people out there. P.s. damn you for the tornados LOL
BubbleGrunge 18
Huh?
CharresBarkrey 16
Pretty sure they're talking about Meteorologists. And they're 100% correct, they pretty much have the only job where they can be absolutely incorrect and not get fired. I personally think it's a joke of a career.
monnanon 14
do you really expect someone to essentially accurately predict the future? i live in the uk one of the most changable weather systems in the world and our meteorologists get it right about 80-90% of the time. even if they do get it wrong its minor. without them we would have no warning of massive weather events but by all means bitch about a proffesion you know next to nothing about.
ChakatBlackstar 29
Why do these nuts think that HAARP is a superweapon from the Command & Conquer franchise? It's a well known, publically acknowledged research facility, that I'm pretty sure you can tour. That's like saying SETI is really a death ray or that the Empire State Building is a lightning gun.
TheDrifter 24
No tours, level 3 secure facility, lots of high voltage and rf bleed in the area, so no tourists. Not many government facilities offer public access for various security reasons.
kawaiichick 9
Westboro freaks?
PhotoSmith 25
No. Those guys would have said that OP, the devil and the gays were behind the tornados, not the government.
Seduced83 9
Happy I live in Canada those few conspiracy posts show how nuts Americans are and how crazy your society has become. Like for real you believe the government made those tornados on purpose to kill people you also believe they made it so they can destroy whatever they want so they don't have to pay for insurance claims by saying it was an act of god too right? Crazy people
cristy91 33
There are crazy people everywhere. Maybe the reason you don't see them as much in Canada is because the population is way lower than in the U.S. Also, please refrain from grouping all Americans as "nuts". It's like if I call all Canadians a bunch of syrup drinking, moose riding gang of polite Frenchies (Not saying you are, just using an example). I'm only a first generation American and I find your comment extremely offensive and distasteful.
TheDrifter 24
If I might interject, we're not all French. On behalf of Canadians, I'd like to express my disappointment I'm your disdain towards maple syrup and point out that travel by moose is both efficient and eco friendly. Thank you for your time.
ComoEsJuan 24
Aren't moose tall, 44? It seems like the height-challenged brothers and sisters to the north might have a different opinion. I'd say you all should get sled dogs! They're quick, and protective! Sure, they might not be moose (which is sad)... I've got an idea! Sled moose! Who's with me?! SLED MOOSE!!!
ironichalibut 24
As another Canadian I support 44's views on the merits of maple syrup, an important export and tradition, and the practicality of moose based transit. Although would like to state that it is only that some of us speak French, and very many tgat do prefer to identify as "Québecois". Although, if 35 lived in America, he may be one of those crazy people himself.
AngrySailor 17
You've met polite "Frenchies" mon ostie?
Zebediabolical 45
Tabernac sacre 'osti! There are no polite frenchies. They are a bunch of poutine slinging Nordiques Jersey Wearing bad attitude logriders living in the stripper capital of north America. If you're going to stereotype them, do it right!
AngrySailor 17
Club SUPER SEXY is a sight to behold though...
r4m2k 10
Now now. Not everyone wears Nordiques jerseys in the land of the Quebecois. And I'm sorry but poutine is delicious. Though I have to agree that Frenchies are not always polite. Ôstie de câlisse de tabarnak de crisse.
Zebediabolical 45
I know. I'm just stereotyping. These days it's more Les Habs jerseys what with the Nordiques no longer being a franchise. And I have to agree, poutine is delicious. So long as it's real poutine with the squeaky cheese curds and not the knockoffs that we get at most places in Newfoundland which is basically mozza and shitty canned gravy over fries. I have to even admit I've met a nice and polite quebecois.
seniorchang 16
Sure, your secret HAARP can cause tornados but can it make it rain cheeseburgers or kittens? Checkmate, weather guy.
an3ph 20
But you ARE responsible for at least one ruined Sunday school picnic. That counts for something.
ComoEsJuan 24
Yeah, a high-five!
MGITSWFTC 17
Our forescast today: slight showers of OP's blood and cold temperatures. In all seriousness though, you should contact the authorities. That person sounds like they have some sort of mental illness.
DJCarly 4
The nerve of some people disgusts me.
dead_insects 18
fool me once... shame on you. fool me 50,000 times...you're a weatherman!! ^_~
Marie314 17
The word "nutball" still has me laughing.