Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML
Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said, "See you in Kansas." FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
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Top comments
newburton13 26
I thought the stereotype was the weatherman is never right.
akallaan 7
Damn you!
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Comments (136)
kims0706 10
Or maybe that's just what you want us to think...
Starrbabie 11
LOL
Getspmak 15
Its time for tinfoil hats!
perdix 31
I'm sure the ratings for your weather forecast have gone way up during this sudden outbreak of tornadoes. Follow the money . . . dunh, dunh, dunh!
monnanon 14
well Zephyr was one of the gods of the west wind so would probably be a good name. it also means a gentle breeze so if OP is supposidly causing hurricanes i suppose it could be ironic too.
jrok98 8
I live in Oklahoma..... it's sad.
jess1987 17
well, that nut job is completely wrong. The tornados were caused by Kevin Durant being supportive of a gay NBA player... or at least that is what westboro Baptist church is saying.
Silentstrike 11
HAARP is a real place, It is a big controversy of weather or not (sorry, bad pun) it actualy does normal weather predictions ect. Or if it is a missile intercepting base. It is built and run by the U.S. Air Force, but so are many weather stations.
Zebediabolical 45
The High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program is an ionospheric research program jointly funded by the U.S. Air Force, the U.S. Navy, the University of Alaska, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency I looked it up to see if it was real or if he was just batty. I seem to remember Jesse THE GOVERNORBODY Ventura trying to get access to it on some crappy television show.
minidrone_fml 11
The nutball must think you are Bruce almighty.