Today, I received a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy called "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I've been getting terrifying threats all day. Why? I broke up with my girlfriend and turned her in to the police after she and her friends shared their plan to firebomb a church during Sunday school. I didn't know I was dating a terrorist. I might need a new identity. FML
Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother-in-law's doctor. Apparently he's made threats and fantasizes about killing me. "Notifying you is the protocol for things like this" he said, and ended the conversation with, "have a nice day." FML
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
Today, I went to help a friend move into her new apartment. We were half-way through when it started to rain, and in my anger I yelled that it's like these things happen just to annoy me. Then we heard the tornado sirens. FML
Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said, "See you in Kansas." FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I was harrassed, called a bad mom, and had death wished upon me for getting the Covid vaccine. Apparently, I don't deserve to live because I don't want to die from the virus. FML
Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML
Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
newburton13 26
I thought the stereotype was the weatherman is never right.
akallaan 7
Damn you!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
zafan123 6
Do some research. They are the cause. You may not be. Wake up sheeple.
greggly123 6
Oh so it was YOU who started that tornado...how dare you you s.o.b.
MaRK8080 4
High altitude aroural research project. It was initially covered as an attempt to advance communication with submarines I believe. Now no one knows what they do, but its been linked to weather control and earthquakes.
WhiteCrimson 23
What next? Fringe devision is real? The light of zartha is in the statue of liberty's torch? Or maby we will all be MIB agents in the future.
Layine 1
hah the haarp is real, I firmly believe it's what they used to make hurricane Sandy but yeah I agree bro :/ your life today has sucked
rtm13228 7
Why are you trying to ruin my state? #illuminatti
i_h8t_everything 12
#ThisIsNotTwitterSoStopTheRandomAndRidiculousHashTags
AprilSky 3
They're on to us...
i_h8t_everything 12
Tell him that if he threatens you ever again you'll send in loads more, along with a hurricane