Intimacy: Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and... - FML

By Anonymous - 24/10/2013 21:26 - Canada - Calgary

Spicy

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 942

You deserved it 6 300

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ShitFaced - 01/03/2012 11:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 087

You deserved it 21 606

Rollercoaster ride

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 06:00 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 764

By tequilashot - 20/09/2016 04:40 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 613

You deserved it 4 812

By pride? what's that? :( - 01/09/2012 00:23 - Belgium - Leuven

Spicy

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 800

You deserved it 40 462

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 04:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 437

You deserved it 41 272

By Fartini - 07/11/2016 06:47

Today, I discovered that alcohol makes me red-faced, extremely gassy and eager to discuss my virginity with everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 248

You deserved it 2 426

By Anonymous - 08/01/2010 11:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 920

You deserved it 50 969

By brokedick - 12/12/2011 06:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 377

You deserved it 4 087

By sos - 17/01/2011 03:59 - United States

Today, I found out that I can't pass a field sobriety test while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 243

You deserved it 4 721

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 2 009

Next

Top comments

doctorr_fml 9

Friday 25 October 2013 8:21

Stay drunk and take a Viagra

daniel_dd31 13

Friday 25 October 2013 10:05

I don't know if mixing Viagra with alcohol is a good idea.

Comments

jpest17 5

Friday 8 November 2013 5:51

Find your happy medium?

TimeLord9811 4

Saturday 8 February 2014 8:02

I think that's with every man lol you'll be fine

7madbiker5 0

Sunday 16 February 2014 9:55

Quit trying to do it drunk. Take a few vicodin or percocet an hour before dropping your pants. Works great, especially with a new chick you're shocked said yes because she's out of your league.

owencgray 10

Thursday 14 August 2014 4:17

how are you when stoned?

bazookajoey 27

Thursday 8 October 2015 20:46

You sound like my ex!

Berber260 14

Friday 11 December 2015 0:50

It's normal to not get a ferm erection while drunk.

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Awkward Shopping My ex Racism Family Relatable Kids AITA Love Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cute Cats Sex Intimacy Relationship advice Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Psychology Health Cops Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Here's another FML video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com. Enjoy! Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tre...

I agree, your life sucks 27

You deserved it 28

Today, I'm being forced to keep an eye on my cousin, who is getting married in the morning. He’s tried to marry his fiancé before and chickened out at the altar. For some reason she forgave him and now the bride's mother has made it my job to watch him like a hawk until after the "I Do-s", or else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 437

You deserved it 9 665

Today, the only girl who likes me is a girl who is overweight and uses body acceptance as a reason to get mad at me for turning her down. Call me shallow but as someone who works out frequently, I don't want someone who douses herself with tattoos, thinking guys will fetishize her, instead of self-care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 533

Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660

You deserved it 2 436

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 567

You deserved it 19 392

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 111

You deserved it 1 973

Today, my sister decided to have her baby shower on my birthday. I recently had a miscarriage and she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 96