Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
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Top comments
By
cutiepie343
| 7
Love the OP's username!! Lolz
By
EwanSmith
| 2
at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...
COMMENTS
By
cutiepie343
| 7
Love the OP's username!! Lolz
Reply
emvictoria
| 9
It can be fixed :)
Reply
MedKits
| 9
We're gonna need some Heavy Duty industrial grade meds for this one.
Reply
MikeDa1Da
| 14
26- nah, 1 and 22 can fix this one ;)
Reply
Viciousstorms
| 7
Bob the builder, can he fix it?
Reply
monkeysareyummy
| 0
Duck tape fixes everything! Maybe a little super glue wouldn't hurt either..
Reply
rexgar2000
| 10
time for the Viagra.
Reply
Awsumuzzie
| 12
Think of this as a math problem to somewhat solve the issue... He needs to find a girl name Dystiny, the 'dys' would cancel out his 'dys' from function. He'll be left with tiny erectile function, but it's better than nothing.
Reply
carlovr435
| 10
Viva viagra!
Reply
suxs4ulol
| 22
number 58- awsomest math ever!
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theten_fml
| 9
Worst comment. Quick someone hack his/her account and delete it!!
Reply
enonymous
| 8
OP if you don't use it you lose it
Reply
dustyroaty
| 7
macgyver it, get a pencil and an elastic band, problem solved xD
Reply
aliaskis
| 3
Does one time of it not working make it dysfunctional? I would have to also assume that you have used it by yourself at some point during that time. Maybe you were so anxious about this once in 5 years opportunity that it stressed you out too much to perform. There's nothing wrong with performance anxiety, and any decent person would understand that and not hold it against you or discount you for future opportunities (once your next 5 year mark comes up, of course).
Reply
Bulzye
| 2
We have the technology!
Reply
Muser97
| 1
I was gonna write that but I see u did first. Good job
Reply
Kirlyfoo
| 9
Why do i get the feeling that so many people disliked 58's comment because of her muslimish scarf? Asses
Reply
xoconnie
| 8
or maybe ur just gay...
Reply
Discombobulated9
| 12
Erectile dysfunction is usually due to being overweight (especially at such a young age). If you really are overweight, now is as good as any time to start losing it.
Reply
DetLions32
| 6
Good thing girls will fuck anyone these days lol
Reply
cutiepie343
| 7
34 - That's disturbing, but strangely sweet in a way... :)
Reply
Levvy
| 22
Blanking out my own comment here. What the heck? It jumped up to become a reply to some totally unrelated thread. I guess it wanted to go be its own man- er, comment.
Reply
CSRozell
| 4
I was gunna tell 22 the same lol
and 118 agreed mine works fine but after getting a chance with a girl I've been after for many years I freaked and.... fml
and 118 agreed mine works fine but after getting a chance with a girl I've been after for many years I freaked and.... fml
By
deviable
| 9
Erectile dysfunction can happen to anyone. I guess you found that out the hard way. Sorry man, hope you can get medication for it.
Reply
memo619
| 0
Pretty sure there's nothing hard in this story :P
Reply
EwanSmith
| 2
he obviously never found out the hard
Reply
deviable
| 9
I challenge someone to make a pun based on my comment that doesn't use the "hard" part.
Reply
kaprookie
| 3
Hmmm.. Did a doctor diagnose this or could you just not get a stiffy and you are assuming the worst? It's possible that a) She didn't arouse you or b)Maybe you had a wank earlier in the day and there was no more fuel in the tank? But I would definitely go get checked out by a doctor OP.
Reply
timbo1992
| 0
I guess he found out the soft way?
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
Come again?
Reply
Androidz
| 0
He couldn't come once.
Reply
RealChinese
| 7
There were a lot of Amish people but they couldn't raise the barn.
Reply
DynamicDave
| 11
Every1luvsboners doesn't love OP.
Reply
clumsychik
| 1
Well, nothing's gonna be happening for OP.
Reply
Honda288
| 2
"the hard way" haha sorry I had to call that one.
Reply
lerouxmaster
| 7
Obviously, nobody did before you.
Reply
DJDude_Arazely
| 10
hahahaha :D Good one. (<The reply)>(To the FML poster) -Your life does suck. Sorry about that man. That stinks. :/
By
EwanSmith
| 2
at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...
Reply
OriginalimoaN
| 15
Would be funnier if you didn't fail with that other comment. (stfu anyone who tries to say, "funnier isn't a word!"
Reply
Saltime
| 0
EwanSmith - 1.
OriginalimoaN - 0.
OriginalimoaN - 0.
Reply
IDontKnow10101
| 14
funnier isn't a word
Reply
Torva_fml
| 16
93- according to urban dictionary... It is a word... So shut up.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
"Funnier" is definitely a word. "Funner" is not.
Reply
StormfrontX33_fml
| 24
You mean you never masturbated in all of that time? Ive heard of use it or lose it, but this is rediculous.
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StormfrontX33_fml
| 24
ridiculous*
Sorry for the misspell, I was killing time before my German final with FML...
Sorry for the misspell, I was killing time before my German final with FML...
By
MrSchneebly
| 5
Thats really rough man im sorry, but im pretty sure its treatable.
keep your peccker up
keep your peccker up
Reply
Magic_Mushroom
| 7
I use two rubber bands and a pencil
Reply
Torva_fml
| 16
Sounds like something a redneck would do....
By
VoteForTaco
| 8
How the fuck can he deserve that? FYL
Reply
xiaoxaio
| 5
ikr? "YDI for not having a functioning penis?"
Reply
MedKits
| 9
Sorry about that, my hand had a seizure when I went to click on the FYL button.
By
Ladderwings
| 6
I guess OP found out the hard way... Or not. (pun very much intended).
Reply
whatz_going_on
| 24
Was the pun also intended to be terrible?
Reply
IndigoAcrylic
| 9
There is no such thing as a terrible pun...In my eyes xD I STILL LAUGHED AT THAT ;D Then again it dosn't take much to please my simple, happy mind xD
By
elmousey
| 5
If you've gone 5 years without any contact it was probably just nerves. Wake Mr. Happy up and try again.
Reply
EffinToofer
| 3
Thank you. One bad experience doesn't mean "full-on ED". Just try again later.
Reply
CADMAN82
| 1
I was thinking the same thing, considering his age he was probably just nervous. Did it work fine while jerking off over those 5 years? If yes then the problem lies in your head; not your little head.
By
HerpYourDerp
| 7
PREPARE FOR THE PUNS.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
*PENIS
Reply
Blacksabbath211
| 9
Lack of functioning of
By
spacemanspiff78
| 7
Tuck it between your legs and go tranny lezbo.
Reply
NOTquiteRAMBO
| 10
Agreed!
By
darkinners
| 6
I guess it's just a bit too nervous, as op didn't had contact to women this long time. no worries op but consult with doctor if you feel really needed.
Reply
BehindU
| 5
* I guess it's just a bit of nerves, as OP hasn't had contact with women for a long time. No worries OP but consult your doctor if you fell needed. * Sorry for being a grammar nazi I just couldn't help it.
Reply
KMtheDrummer
| 6
*if you feel it's needed.
Reply
Falassalond
| 16
You guys are Grammer Nazi assholes. In case you didn't notice, he's from hong kong. Leave him alone. Apparently you could read it so there was no need to correct it. OP, you shouldn't have been having sexual relations five years ago.