By brokedick - 12/12/2011 06:23 - United States

Spicy
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 297
You deserved it 4 072

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Top comments

Love the OP's username!! Lolz

at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...

Comments

Love the OP's username!! Lolz

It can be fixed :)

We're gonna need some Heavy Duty industrial grade meds for this one.

26- nah, 1 and 22 can fix this one ;)

Viciousstorms 7

Bob the builder, can he fix it?

monkeysareyummy 0

Duck tape fixes everything! Maybe a little super glue wouldn't hurt either..

rexgar2000 10

time for the Viagra.

Think of this as a math problem to somewhat solve the issue... He needs to find a girl name Dystiny, the 'dys' would cancel out his 'dys' from function. He'll be left with tiny erectile function, but it's better than nothing.

Viva viagra!

number 58- awsomest math ever!

theten_fml 9

Worst comment. Quick someone hack his/her account and delete it!!

enonymous 8

OP if you don't use it you lose it

macgyver it, get a pencil and an elastic band, problem solved xD

Does one time of it not working make it dysfunctional? I would have to also assume that you have used it by yourself at some point during that time. Maybe you were so anxious about this once in 5 years opportunity that it stressed you out too much to perform. There's nothing wrong with performance anxiety, and any decent person would understand that and not hold it against you or discount you for future opportunities (once your next 5 year mark comes up, of course).

Bulzye 2

We have the technology!

I was gonna write that but I see u did first. Good job

Kirlyfoo 9

Why do i get the feeling that so many people disliked 58's comment because of her muslimish scarf? Asses

xoconnie 8

or maybe ur just gay...

Erectile dysfunction is usually due to being overweight (especially at such a young age). If you really are overweight, now is as good as any time to start losing it.

DetLions32 6

Good thing girls will fuck anyone these days lol

34 - That's disturbing, but strangely sweet in a way... :)

Blanking out my own comment here. What the heck? It jumped up to become a reply to some totally unrelated thread. I guess it wanted to go be its own man- er, comment.

CSRozell 4

I was gunna tell 22 the same lol and 118 agreed mine works fine but after getting a chance with a girl I've been after for many years I freaked and.... fml

Erectile dysfunction can happen to anyone. I guess you found that out the hard way. Sorry man, hope you can get medication for it.

memo619 0

Pretty sure there's nothing hard in this story :P

he obviously never found out the hard

I challenge someone to make a pun based on my comment that doesn't use the "hard" part.

Hmmm.. Did a doctor diagnose this or could you just not get a stiffy and you are assuming the worst? It's possible that a) She didn't arouse you or b)Maybe you had a wank earlier in the day and there was no more fuel in the tank? But I would definitely go get checked out by a doctor OP.

I guess he found out the soft way?

Androidz 0

He couldn't come once.

There were a lot of Amish people but they couldn't raise the barn.

Every1luvsboners doesn't love OP.

Well, nothing's gonna be happening for OP.

"the hard way" haha sorry I had to call that one.

Obviously, nobody did before you.

DJDude_Arazely 10

hahahaha :D Good one. (<The reply)>(To the FML poster) -Your life does suck. Sorry about that man. That stinks. :/

at least you made the effort. keep it up. oh wait a minute...

Would be funnier if you didn't fail with that other comment. (stfu anyone who tries to say, "funnier isn't a word!"

EwanSmith - 1. OriginalimoaN - 0.

IDontKnow10101 14

funnier isn't a word

Torva_fml 16

93- according to urban dictionary... It is a word... So shut up.

"Funnier" is definitely a word. "Funner" is not.

Thats really rough man im sorry, but im pretty sure its treatable. keep your peccker up

I use two rubber bands and a pencil

Torva_fml 16

Sounds like something a redneck would do....

How the fuck can he deserve that? FYL

ikr? "YDI for not having a functioning penis?"

Sorry about that, my hand had a seizure when I went to click on the FYL button.

I guess OP found out the hard way... Or not. (pun very much intended).

whatz_going_on 24

Was the pun also intended to be terrible?

There is no such thing as a terrible pun...In my eyes xD I STILL LAUGHED AT THAT ;D Then again it dosn't take much to please my simple, happy mind xD

If you've gone 5 years without any contact it was probably just nerves. Wake Mr. Happy up and try again.

EffinToofer 3

Thank you. One bad experience doesn't mean "full-on ED". Just try again later.

I was thinking the same thing, considering his age he was probably just nervous. Did it work fine while jerking off over those 5 years? If yes then the problem lies in your head; not your little head.

HerpYourDerp 7

PREPARE FOR THE PUNS.

Blacksabbath211 9

Lack of functioning of

Tuck it between your legs and go tranny lezbo.

I guess it's just a bit too nervous, as op didn't had contact to women this long time. no worries op but consult with doctor if you feel really needed.

BehindU 5

* I guess it's just a bit of nerves, as OP hasn't had contact with women for a long time. No worries OP but consult your doctor if you fell needed. * Sorry for being a grammar nazi I just couldn't help it.

*if you feel it's needed.

You guys are Grammer Nazi assholes. In case you didn't notice, he's from hong kong. Leave him alone. Apparently you could read it so there was no need to correct it. OP, you shouldn't have been having sexual relations five years ago.