Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my sink seemed to be filling up with dirty water. Concerned, I turned on the garbage disposal and plunged away. With no change in the water levels, I called a plumber. He reached in, pulled out the drain plug, and give me his bill while chuckling to himself. FML
Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
Today, due to an unforeseen pipe-related incident, I had to shave my legs in my backyard fish pond, while a plumber assessed the damage to my war-zone of a bathroom. FML
Today, I was speeding home, bursting to take a crap. I pulled into my driveway and made it inside, before my wife told me the plumber was still working on our pipes. I ended up having to take a crap in my own backyard, behind a tree. FML
Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML
Today, at work, the only toilet in the building was so clogged that it was overflowing. We didn't have a plunger, so basically the only way to stop it was to try and reach in and remove the blockage. I was nominated to do it. FML
Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML
Today, I tried to fix a leaking pipe under the sink. I watched a YouTube tutorial and was feeling confident that I could get the job done. Two hours later, half of the kitchen was practically flooded because I forgot to cut the water off, and scrambled to actually find the main valve, then I had to call an emergency plumber, who showed up, laughed, and fixed it in five minutes. FML
Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gracehi 33
Call his company and tell them he's fraternizing with the clients. Get his ass fired.
picante72 24
At least she was honest and told you immediately instead of covering it up for months or years.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
olpally 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow, what a ****. Sorry op. You deserve better.
tjv3 10
Damn OP that sucks. Kick her out and burn the bed
repKyle95 24
Jeez, what did the bed do to deserve such horrid treatment? I say you kick out the bed and burn the wife... ;-)
Gingerette 8
I like your violence. If you ever feel like you don't need it anymore, I'm in the market for good sociopathic tendencies...
KeXu 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What if he had cheated on many women prior? Would he still deserve better?
\ 28
#77, two wrongs don't make a right. I really do feel sorry for OP because his marriage may have suffered a terrible blow...
etoilenuit 15
His wife reads too many romance novels..
ChevyRedneck85 13
If only they told me plumbing had those benefits
domolovesyoshi 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I commend your use of the word sociopath. as sociopaths would in fact prefer to con and manipulate others into doing the violent act for them before committing the crime themselves Glibness and Superficial Charm Manipulative and Conning They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. Grandiose Sense of Self Feels entitled to certain things as "their right." Pathological Lying Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests. Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way. Shallow Emotions When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises. Incapacity for Love Need for Stimulation Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common. Callousness/Lack of Empathy Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them. Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others. Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc. Irresponsibility/Unreliability Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed. Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts. Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively. Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
soccerguy2 11
There are long comments, and then there is #117
\ 28
Thanks for the psychology lesson, #117
hashshim 23
117: I have a psychology essay due tomorrow, thanks!
\ 28
As much as I hate to admit it, I really hope 117's comment gets buried so future readers of this thread aren't inconvenienced.
nikosatter 1
117 you just described trevor from GTA V lol
Axipiter 24
117, as a Halo fan, you're a disgrace to your comment number. Also, why was that necessary?
Greenmarsh 31
Dude, that's his wife
jkmartinjk 16
I had to scroll for ages just to thumb that comment down.
poppyseed420 9
As someone who lives with a crazy stepmom, it was nice to see an accurate description and know what she's defined as now
KawaiiCupcake 14
Hie is just luck that she told him the truth. Instead of never telling the truth and living with a wrong person.
MrsReed 14
Wow, you just described my late mother!
repKyle95 24
Dude, I'm glad you're educated in psychology. That's very cool, and it's great to have knowledge. But one thing even I've learned about social interaction (and trust me, I've never really had any actual 'friends' so I don't know much) is that the two key things are CONTEXT and KNOWING YOUR AUDIENCE. That interesting stuff about psychology is better suited to posting in a community that is dedicated to that sort of thing - here, people just find it annoying. I completely sympathize with your desire to share your knowledge - I can barely go a day without telling people about my animals and listing tons of facts about them. I know I'm going to get tons of thumbs down for making this comment long and detailed, so bring it on.
Wimoweh 10
Don't worry 241. You're comment wasn't nearly as long and it didn't disgrace a Spartan.
Shiny_nickels 14
I am afraid of what #117 because some of those might be apparent in me most of the time...
bearin 9
But he didn't...
graceinsheepwear 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hope your marriage isn't completely down the drain, OP.
TheBrochure 22
Username. :/
tjv3 10
How can it not be ? She cheated which means she broke the trust and her vows
MrConcise 35
What's a pun?
littlem91 29
Yes, but not everyone wants a divorce for 1 incident of cheating it's not the same as a full blown, planned out affair. He may decide to work in their marriage instead, maybe not.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Sorry 42, but cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter if someone planned to cheat or not, if you're willing to hurt your significant other like that, then you don't deserve to be in a relationship.
graceinsheepwear 34
I agree with 42. It is one thing to hold these black and white ideals, but when it happens, you have to decide if your marriage is worth some gray and forgiveness. For me, I wanted to work on my marriage, despite having previously felt that if he cheated once, I was gone.
Casp 4
If the FML was a man confessing to his wife about cheating, then everyone would be saying "divorce his ass right now" and "don't bother with him". True story, the FML community very biased these days.
R3TROxLOV3 32
54, I agree. She completely broke the trust in the marriage. It doesn't matter if she planned it or not, she still did it. How do you trust your spouse if they cheat so easily? I think I might actually be more worried if my spouse cheated on me impulsively than if they entered into a flirtation with someone else that eventually led to sex. Personally, I feel that if my spouse cheated just because they were horny and someone was available, there's a chance that they've done it before, or will do it again. A flirtation leading to an affair takes some commitment, random hookups with the plumber take none at all.
kelmonster 1
its up to the OP what happens to the marriage. I've seen couples that have worked through it when one cheated and other couples haven't. Personally my ex cheating was juzt the end of a long line of horrible behavour and I decided I had enough. I hope the OP does what's best for him.
devilkazama 9
Why isnt this the top comment? :P
feelingold 18
ok, sorry to sound patronizing but a word to all these 16-23yo commenters saying that a one off with a plumber should end a marriage... Trust me, when you've been married and committed to someone for many years things get a lot more complicated. And you're wrong 67, a spouse gradually falling in love with someone else is FAR more lethal for a marriage than this. I'd say the instant confession is a good sign - at least she's honest and where there's honesty you might be able to rebuild trust. OP I don't know how long you've been married but think hard and maybe see a counsellor.
Casp 4
Watch out everyone, Mr. Big Shot 32 year old here to lay down the ******* law. Sorry sir, next time us youngsters should ask for permission before giving our opinions, right?
R3TROxLOV3 32
151, I disagree. That much impulsiveness shows a lack of commitment, and I'd be extremely converned that it had previously happened and the guilt became to much so my SO had confessed to just this one indescretion, or that they might do it again. We'll just have to agree to disagree.
R3TROxLOV3 32
Also, I know that to you, you probably wouldn't consider it "many years," but I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and I'd personally feel much more worried if he cheated impuslively rather than flirtation leading to cheating over a period of time.
Kagulocke 13
To be honest. humans aren't monogomous creatures. most people have and will cheat in any long term relationship, wether emotionally or sexually. the fact that she confessed outright instead of hiding it means that she felt so much guilt over the situation that there may be hope for the marraige. Cheating shouldn't be the initial cause, the inability to be hnest and upfront and show remorse, that should be the reason to divorce. Shit happens.
caden_bro 9
You know, you can repair a relationship after someone cheats. It doesn't have to end, if both WANT to repair it, anyway.
feelingold 18
yeah I'm an asshole
8born8 18
221, I believe that this comment is unwarranted. I too believe that a relationship is worth saving. Whether two people have been together for 4 days or 40 years. If both parties want a relationship to work then it will. Any underlying issues need to be dealt with, no holds barred. I hope that you find a silver lining in this black storm cloud.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Plus, the "tearful confession" is a crock. If she was really sorry for what she'd done, she'd have shut up about it. "Confessing" is usually a passive-aggressive strategy to cause your partner more pain (letting them know picked someone else over them), while forcing them to forgive you because "you're sooooooo sorry"…at least until the next time.
confundo 7
I am 17 and my opinion has been stated to be worthless by someone in this thread because of my lack of life experience. I will state my opinion regardless because I know myself well enough to know that no matter what age I am, I will still feel the same way. If I was cheated on by someone that I loved with all my soul it would destroy everything. I would still love that person but not in the same way I did before. If I left him I wouldn't be able to leave the thought of him betraying me for the rest of my life, because I will always love him. And if I stayed it would never be the same and I couldn't possibly let it go. I don't even want to think about that happening honestly. I don't even flirt with guys now because I would feel guilty for giving them false expectations. I can't imagine how someone could cheat on someone they care about or love. I hate how we excuse it by saying it is human nature and we are animals because that is bull shit. Does anyone have any honor?
sig4life 18
I do believe the username says it all
Joedbag 8
his username is "soon to be divorced"
gracehi 33
Call his company and tell them he's fraternizing with the clients. Get his ass fired.
caohm 18
yes and at least you see what kind of person she is now so you can move on when ready to someone better
Enslaved 38
There are a lot of plumbers that are self employed so I doubt it would really matter. Or I can also picture the guy pleading with his employer "Come on, boss! She wanted it! And I got paid to do both jobs! If her husband was taking care of his wife. . . Blah blah blah" (Unfortunately-- It's a different world out there for some)
gracehi 33
Yeah, I thought about the possibility that this guy is his own boss. In that case, OP can report him to the BBB, and post scathing reviews about him in every outlet possible. In business, one's name is everything. OP can still ruin him.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Pssh... This guy could quit his day job and become a **** star. I mean damn, he created the scene by himself now all he needs is cameras. He could start up shop right now. He'll be rich by the end of the year. I see it now.. "Plumbing Your Wife" or "Phat Assed Plumber *****". Seriously though, **** your wife OP. Kick that bitch to the curb. I hope you take all her shit in the divorce. Good luck, pal, you have my condolences..
Enslaved 38
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Actually picture that phone call? What guy wants to spread his "personal business" out there? It doesn't make him look good in anyone's eye. All it make him look like is a guy that either can't satisfy his wife or has bad judgement and married a *****. The OP's wife cheated. That's not going to change whether or not the plumber loses his job. Now he'll have bragging rights saying it was totally worth losing his job.
gracehi 33
His wife cheated and this guy knowingly had sex with a married woman. They are the only people who look bad in this situation.
Enslaved 38
You think like that because you're sweet and have a good heart. That's not what people are truly going to think. (Like I said-- "unfortunately")
gracehi 33
Well those people are assholes and who cares what assholes think? In the end, ideally, this guy will be out of a job and OP will be rid of a cheating wife. This OP will come out on top...ideally. When my ex husband cheated on me, I felt no shame telling everyone I knew what an adulterous asshole he was, and when the divorce was finalized, I felt like a winner.
gracehi 33
*Thus. Stupid Swype!
kelmonster 1
Gee although my ex cheated it still hurt when we got divorced. I was best to be rid of him and I had no shame but there was still some pain.
gracehi 33
104, There was pain in the beginning of the process, but by the time the divorce was finalized after four months, I was just glad to have cut all ties with him. But the fact that we'd only been together for 3 years (including our 1 year marriage) and the fact that the entire relationship had been a thinly veiled living Hell made things easier. I imagine it would have been much more difficult if we'd been together for decades or if the majority if the relationship had been pleasant. Likewise, things may be difficult for OP now, and it may take him much more than just a few months to get over it, but eventually he'll just be glad to be rid of her and will feel much better about the whole situation.
horneyhic 15
And if he owns the company as a lot of plumbers do
PhotoSmith 25
My wife and I have been married for sixteen years. We have six kids. I don't know OP's situation, but I would be hard pressed to just walk away from my marriage. I would have to give my wife a second chance, but our lives would be a living hell for a while. When I was younger, maybe I could have left. But not now.
Good_old_Grim 8
I don't see how that's the plumber's fault. He's not the married one...
PhotoSmith 25
A man/woman should not have sex with someone's wife/husband. It puts equal blame on both adulterous persons.
gremlin_bros 19
Had the same thing with my ex wife. She cheated I but her ass on the bricks. Now I'm so much better for it!
beelee1988 13
160. How would you know if the plumber was or was not married?
ygdrassil 17
How do we know the plumber knew she was married? Even if he did know, maybe he wasn't thinking of it at the time. From my point of view, she's the one who is really responsible for her own faithfulness.
gracehi 33
Guys, OP said "I" called a plumber. He's a man. The plumber arrived and there was a woman at the house. My guess is that OP gave his own name when he called, so even if the plumber isn't the one who took the call personally, the plumber would have to be a complete moron not to put two and two together. Unless there's some other unusual circumstance, I'd say it's more likely than not this guy knew he was messing with a married woman. And in any case, that's pretty unprofessional behavior.
Rainhawk94 27
I bet she told you how sorry she was. Tell her how sorry you are as you light her on fire
ComoEsJuan 24
Then put her out with Draino.
graceinsheepwear 34
Murder? Really?
Rainhawk94 27
It's not murder if you leave her within an inch of her life
shyeahh_fml 19
Yeah, in that case OP would actually be SAVING his wife's life. She doesn't deserve someone so heroic.
SasquatchDeluxe 10
Or assure her you'll feel just as sorry the first time you screw another woman, with the implication that you'll be doing that as soon as you find someone you're sufficiently attracted to.
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
I'm glad this has escalated to murder and abuse of the wife. How primitive. Divorce her & tell his company so he's fired. End of.
picante72 24
At least she was honest and told you immediately instead of covering it up for months or years.
Fappy69 11
Still doesn't make it better.
mccrightp 29
I'm curious if this was a revenge thing. Did she want to "tearfully confess" and hurt her husband. I've heard that there's usually a particular marriage issue that makes a woman cheat. Then again, maybe she just has really poor impulse control.
Andosworld 8
But it could have been going on for years. If she got piped by the plumber, no saying who else she's laid down for.
kici 10
A tearful confession on the day it happened would make me think it was the first time. Women tend to dismiss relationship problems in order to keep the peace until it becomes too late. I'm sad for both of them.
TheDrifter 24
That's some relationship issue if her solution is to screw some guy she's known less than an hour while he's at work.
living_thedream 12
This probably wasn't her first time since she was able to let herself go to someone she literally just met so quickly. She could have a problem and it may be hard for her to control. Her confessing is guilt built up, but may also be a cry for help. Sorry OP
annalily5 28
Do you live in **** World?
SergeantSnuggles 12
Lol! I thought the same! Sounds like some shit from Brazzerz!
Rainhawk94 27
Whats brazzers. Miley Cyrus's new album?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Miley Cyrus was offered a 1 million dollar deal to direct a porno. I was hoping she'd be in it though.. I would not mind seeing what's under Hannah Montana's clothes.. But I'm a dirty bastard so I wouldn't mind seeing what's under most women's clothes.. ;)
mikepzz 27
Yeah........
corporatescoundr 25
112- check out her photoshoot with terry (Jackson or Robinson???...something like that) But I was thinking the exact same thing #7 OP can't live in reality. At least not the same one as I do.
lulubelles 33
#116 the name you're looking for is Richardson, and that guy is beyond creepy, if you believe the stuff written about him.
Welshite 40
What did she get up to with the mechanic?
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
My picture. Your comment.
gc327072 31
51- Your name. My lunch.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Your picture. MY DINNER!!!
NoFlippinWai 24
Your username. Your vag.
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Again...my picture. Your comment.
IloveToLaugh143 21
Her comment. Your picture.
Peachy2392 26
Damn...I'm sorry, OP. I agree with a previous comment, call the company he works for.
FailBear920 19
Take the final plunge in your relationship and end it!
LittleRed79 39
No way! Keep her around. Put her in charge of your "finances". She can exchange services for services and you'll never have to pay a plumber or mechanic again! ;) Of course you'd also NEVER be able to sleep with her again.
pfft123 14
I think OP's username says it all for that one... : - Sorry 'bout that OP, you deserve better.
Folly_fml 12
I would find that man, and clean his pipes! ...with my fists I mean.
MisterEx 28
Sure you would, dear. Sure you would.
sicksadworld1317 30
*whips out opera length black latex gloves* Let's just leave this one to the professionals, yes?