Oh god, I know who I'm not drinking with and/or getting drunk with. If you can't do it sober then you don't deserve to drink. Unless you're a blonde then that's a different story.

hopped up on goofballs no doubt

did that

14 I used to have a snake like that. ball python right?

uummm okay

Yes it is a ball python. It's a HET ghost ball python I got for my 14th birthday by my parents from their store. I love her to death, she is my life. I hope to breed her one day to a gorgeous male bumblebee ball python.

you stole those words right outta my mouth.

haha

hey retard they ask you to say it backwards cause I drunk will try and a sober person will just say they can't do it.

What the fuck? (@hellogoodbye1996)

I can't even recite the alphabet backwards while sober, heck I can't even memorize the order of the middle letters without saying or thinking the alphabet song. haha.

lol my kindergarden teacher made the class memorize how to sing it backwards. id definitely fail though. One beer and I cant walk straight.

@34 liiight weiiighhhttt! (it's okay, me too.)

Then don't.

Know what you do when you assume? You make an ASS out of U and ME.

ehh that was kinda lame dynamic Dave. and you don't really need to be fit to pass a sobriety test.

I just shat on a turtle. FML

yuzjhhuuu

Naw, I can't dance. I'm just drunk!