Keep a radio in the bathroom, play it everytime you are in there even just to put you makeup on. Ask you man to do the same. Then you are both on even ground.

watch him take craps till you get comfortable of him hearing you crap

I thought I was the only one... just go while the shower is running. that's what I do. so then you can't hear it and if you can't hear it then for sure he can't.

Is your therapy phobia-specific? There are such courses of therapy. Would you really want to end a relationship over this? And I hope you have been or will very soon be able to be honest with your fiancee about this phobia and your abuse history. I have been with my husband since 1978. I told him about my childhood abuse right away, and it was the right decision. FWIW, he helped me make the decision to terminate relations with relations that were not going to change their attitudes and behavior toward me a few years after that. I remain satisfied that that this was the right choice.

thats true . btw i love snickerdoodles comments . always interesting :) plus she taught me what OP and YDI. meant xD

People made fun of you for going to the bathroom, and it affected you? What the ****?

Communicate with him. Get seperate bathrooms or get a lock on the door and a radio/fan to drown out the noise? Let him know that it's a touchy subject that you'll both need to work on or avoid.

wow don't be a baby. so if you even have a job do you wait for hours on end just to do something that won't even take 2 mins?

Thats what you get for being gay. YDI!

if you aren't comfortable with your own boyfriend then ydi