Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
prettykitty82
Miss Single
lebato97
United States
thatisnotcool45
Canada
Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML
blondie101
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Poetry in politics
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML