Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML
Misleading
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML
Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
Today, I spent a nice night with the guy I’ve been madly crushing on for the past year. When he went to the bathroom and left his phone unlocked, I looked at his photo album and saw photos of my house, my room, me sleeping, and my naked body. FML
Think before you speak
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML
Top comments
qwertyuiop8989 0
It's just sex....it's his fault...not yours
Signposthead 0
Why would you complement him on his ipod touch, if it was like an iPhone signed by a famous person a could see it, but come on
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Comments (202)
MiniatureMayhem 0
YDI. You hooked up with some random bar dude, what did you expect?
kewl92 0
yeah exactly, what did you expect? you had sex with him after you just met him. did you think you'd be his new gf? YDI bitch
ezebreeze 0
YDI , thats why u never have sex with people at a bar or club.
LeashYouUp 0
first!
letitbe56 0
Well, I'd be a hypocrite if I were to tell you not to have sex with someone you'd just met. However, having any kind of expectations about that person is unwise. You just met him! Be glad that the worst thing about him is that he has a girlfriend. If you were dumb enough to think it would turn into something real, YDI. That almost never happens.
THysios 2
who said it was still going out with her. lol at your name accidental ****, sounds like you're a **** on purpose. YDI
CynicComedian 2
You're a *****...he's a manwhore and a cheater. You both deserve anything you get. Now clean out your ****** as I'm sure over the last month a lot of gunk has accumulated in it and it probably smells like rotting trout.
Kiwi_Splash 0
@83: Just because some of us have integrity doesn't mean we can't get laid. You seriously need to re-evaluate your views because you have no idea how much this says about a person like yourself, and it really isn't nice.
PsychoMiko 0
YDI for being a cum dumpter.
sixtrey 0
YDI for being a *****