Love, Sex, Alcohol, Drunk and Gross: Love is love - FML

Love is love

By Anonymous - 27/03/2022 01:59

Spicy

Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 776

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Same thing different taste

The language of love

By disgusted - 24/09/2012 19:16 - United Kingdom - Harpenden

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 928

You deserved it 6 528

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 20:01

Spicy

Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 450

You deserved it 194

It's a gas gas gas

By Anonymous - 12/05/2021 10:01 - United States - Schertz

Spicy

Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 298

By Anonymous - 19/11/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea all over my husbands legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 529

You deserved it 2 830

Classy dude

By tw@ - 28/09/2014 15:30 - United Kingdom - Watford

Spicy

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 864

You deserved it 4 879

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Spicy

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 2 146

What are you doing, human?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2022 02:00

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were starting to get freaky. He was rubbing himself on my lady parts and I looked over to my side where my dog was intensely following my man’s junk with her eyes. I laughed so hard I farted, peed myself, and broke a cup in under 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 516

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Spicy

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 350

You deserved it 2 828

By DutchOven - 04/07/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 399

You deserved it 25 955

Fetish

By Anonymous - 25/07/2019 12:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 582

You deserved it 293

Next

Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 27 March 2022 18:03

Yes you did. So it's time for a talk, don't you think?

Dirtysalamander1 13

Monday 28 March 2022 22:11

did you not read the story??

Comments

Boyufd 24

Sunday 27 March 2022 8:52

isn't that technically rape since he was drunk?

Dirtysalamander1 13

Monday 28 March 2022 22:11

did you not read the story??

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 27 March 2022 18:03

Yes you did. So it's time for a talk, don't you think?

SirEnigM0nk 22

Sunday 27 March 2022 20:39

Ditch the guy if he keeps up these shenanigans.

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The Top

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 694

You deserved it 3 322

Today, my teenage son caught COVID and has passed it on to me. He's completely unaffected, and joking that he wants to catch it again, to get another week off school. I'm lying in bed, with a pounding headache, shivering so violently I'm shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 94

The Top

Today, my brother and I were nearly made homeless by a good friend and roommate, because after repeatedly leading on my brother, and admitting she’s disrespected me all along, she and her boyfriend took off suddenly without a word of notice, leaving us to a house we can't afford alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 114

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 121

You deserved it 4 856

Today, I was told I can’t wear a nose ring at my new job because several customers "don’t like it." It’s a very small nose ring and the job is a shack that serves food through a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 375

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 11 933

Today, I've had a shitty day and everything at work went tits up. I thought it'd get better when I get home but no, I smashed my fingers with my car door and now it hurts like hell, and my shitty day had just got even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 124

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 813

You deserved it 10 625