Intimacy: Hot stuff

Hot stuff

By anonymous - 07/06/2009 06:18 - Korea Republic of

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked, and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 455

You deserved it 25 713

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/10/2009 11:15 - United States

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 583

You deserved it 24 332

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 491

You deserved it 2 806

Attraction

By Chelsea - 02/04/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 487

You deserved it 38 932

By anon - 20/12/2016 23:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 797

You deserved it 2 910

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 126

Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2021 10:59

Today, my kids did not tell me the AC guy was here. I got up and went to the restroom in my bra and underwear, and the AC guy was standing in the bathroom. Our AC unit is downstairs, so both me and the AC guy were shocked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 4 159

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 91 572

Classic lineup

By Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 324

You deserved it 5 233

By gettinghotinhere - 17/10/2014 18:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 825

You deserved it 6 873

Helldozer 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:19

YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.

breakthesky 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

Haha um...

Comments

breakthesky 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:14

Haha um...

underaegis 0

Friday 20 August 2010 8:54

ummm what!!! u had sex sooooooooo waking up to that compared to some other FMLs makes it a good thing...Right?

gntfmlingnow 12

Monday 17 October 2011 21:58

Those crazy Koreans and their air conditioning toilets.

BigCheezy73 2

Sunday 1 April 2012 6:30

sizzle...

speedydrumstix 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:15

hahahaha wtf!

flighted 1

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:57

I don't understand how people can take some random "hot guy" home and expect something like this NOT to happen. -.-

boogiefcrazy 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 5:43

I kinda gotta agree...xD that's f****in hilarious

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 27 September 2016 6:51

Nah, just soju.

burrito_supreme 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:15

LOL

Sambo110 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:17

Umm, this is strange. What would you do in that situation, and in your air conditioner unit? How the hell...

Everlost 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:17

thats normal.

Zombierella 2

Friday 10 July 2009 21:51

ROFL #5

Helldozer 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:19

YDI for bringing random people into your apartment, *****.

nicoleyy 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 7:37

I know wtf

q_tipperz 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

ew that's so unattractive of him .

Garanaw 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

Waaaah ...

jj732 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:20

hope you got his number! :D oh and i agree with #6.

testing_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 16:22

****! You got what you deserved! Jezebel!!!

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Sex Intimacy Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I overheard my wife telling our daughter that getting married young is like a “long, slow, painful dream-killing death, played out over decades.” We got married when I was 18 and she was 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 034

You deserved it 301

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 563

You deserved it 8 979

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 000

You deserved it 2 994

Today, at work, the chest freezer was accidentally turned off. I work at a vet and the freezer is our morgue. It got opened before anyone realized the contents had thawed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 053

You deserved it 314

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 463

You deserved it 3 076

Today, I realized I wasted my high school and some college years buying the girl I love flowers, gifts, dinners, concert tickets, etc. I was there through her ups and downs. The thanks I get? “But we’re just best friends, silly!” and dating these sorry ass guys who wouldn’t spit on her if she were on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 862

Hot stuff

Same thing different taste

Attraction

Classic

Oh, hai Mark!

Awkward

Classic lineup

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