Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML
Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML
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Top comments
Zebidee 9
OK, I know views on abstinence before marriage varies, but to my mind, YDI huge. If neither of you were virgins, and you were planning on getting married, the idea that you wouldn't have sex just strikes me as bizarre, with this being one of the main reasons. It's going to be a long fifty years.
sam1984_fml 0
*you're welcome (you're welcome! :D)
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Comments (134)
allmidnighteyes 11
Then work on it with him. The fact that you've had sex before in the past doesn't mean you're automatically going to be the most amazing person in bed ever. Find out what he likes sexually, and tell him what you like sexually so that you can both please each other in the bedroom.
nenigrl 0
That's a good plan. I think OP needs to stick to this. You can always teach an old dog new tricks!
sheenamaedc09 0
let him teach you, then teach him of what pleasures you. what makes sex great is knowing what each other prefers/enjoys.first time around won't always be the best because you get better by practicing with each other ;D
krez 20
He doesn't sound too wonderful to me.
ZeroQI_fml 5
Bad s*x is better than a good day at work :D
burned313 3
then the sex is all bad because it's ALL about what the buyer wants. so even bad sex of what you want is better then that haha.
evildemonchild 18
guess he isn't so wonderful now is he? :3
KaylieeJay 4
Well as a consolation, you're also the best he has ever had...
Doortje 30
"both of us were no longer virgins"..
mattitucklove01 0
what a great husband you got there! trust me you can always improve, no reason to be that upset!
naynay104 0
wow hindsight is 20/20 huh. It sucks that she tried to do a sweet romantic thing by waiting and was disappointed, but every one here is like, 'ho! Stupid woman, thats not what *I* would have done. *I* would have slammed his brains out AND be the best he's ever had. Nothing shit ever happens to me, and if it does its totally not my fault, because i know everything'.... Easy to say when its someone else. Be nice.
Invierno 10
Plenty of other ways to be sweet and romantic... If that really was all she was trying to be, then she obviously didn't think it through very well. That said, her husband was a jerk for putting it the way he did. But still, that doesn't rid her of her part of the blame in this situation.
CallMeHush 1
The best thing about sex is that it is fun to work on your game.
zargon 1
Gotta try it before you buy it. Otherwise, caveat emptor!