Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, I have an acute URI and acute bronchitis. The cough syrup works amazingly well to stop the coughing, but if I take the cough syrup it gives me insomnia. So I get to choose: do I want to spend all night coughing, or spend all night tossing and turning? FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. because my throat was swelling up. I called 911 and they determined that I would live, so I took two Benadryl and slept all day. Then I went to urgent care for my scheduled appointment time and tested positive for Covid. FML
Today, my daughter has an ear infection and hasn’t slept more than 15 minutes a night for the last three days. Well tonight she was finally asleep, but I needed to take my own tablets. I had a violent coughing fit while choking on them, and woke her up. FML
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML
Today, I'm trying to sleep off a cold as my roommate plays video games in his adjacent room. He doesn't rage or get excited often, and he can control it even more if he really needs to, but it's still enough to keep me painfully awake, along with my cold. Every minute feels like an eternity. FML
Today, I've been bedridden for 2 weeks. My mother, a very busy woman who lives 30 minutes away, took me to the doctor's office, which is barely 2 minutes across town. Turns out I have strep, and a bad ear infection. My loving boyfriend of 6 years, who lives with me, just told me to take a hot shower and I'd feel better. FML
Today, I have to sleep in another room, with the door closed, because if I don't, my girlfriend's snoring will keep me awake. I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia because of this. FML
Today, I'd finally had enough of feeling awful and went to urgent care. As it turns out, the reason my throat was sore was because I have a sinus infection. The doctor explained my nose is producing pus, and that's what I'm swallowing and coughing up. Yuck. I also have pink eye on top of that. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MyEpicDemise 7
I feel you should've consulted another doctor for a different opinion. Still, FYL.
lemon_phat 11
Just go to sleep, the second your throat closes, you will automatically wake up. And if this were truly life or death, you'd be in a hospital, lol.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
Elendil_fml 10
Ah, artificially induced sleep apnea. Wonderful!
ACandelaria_209 1
Is he sure u don't have sleep apnea? I've never heard of an illness doing that to someone.
chosha_fml 27
Sleep sitting up. That will help.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Have the doc prescribe some amphetamines if sleep isn't an option.
pixelpies 4
Hey, me too! Only I have chronic fatigue syndrome so I can't stay awake for very long. Mun and my brother are taking turns watching me. Hi-5 for sickness sucking.
meelo88 13
Humm that sounds like an open and shut case... But damn that is seriously effed up!!!
samanthayap 2
Awww hope you get well soon. (:
Dead_Bunny213 5
Strep throat. Simple as that. Get some advil and have a liquid diet.
FMLISFUNNY13 5
Monster+xbox= i can stay up
leogirl95 12
Might need to consult a psychiatrist or some shit instead