Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, I have an acute URI and acute bronchitis. The cough syrup works amazingly well to stop the coughing, but if I take the cough syrup it gives me insomnia. So I get to choose: do I want to spend all night coughing, or spend all night tossing and turning? FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. because my throat was swelling up. I called 911 and they determined that I would live, so I took two Benadryl and slept all day. Then I went to urgent care for my scheduled appointment time and tested positive for Covid. FML
Today, my daughter has an ear infection and hasn’t slept more than 15 minutes a night for the last three days. Well tonight she was finally asleep, but I needed to take my own tablets. I had a violent coughing fit while choking on them, and woke her up. FML
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML
Today, I'm trying to sleep off a cold as my roommate plays video games in his adjacent room. He doesn't rage or get excited often, and he can control it even more if he really needs to, but it's still enough to keep me painfully awake, along with my cold. Every minute feels like an eternity. FML
Today, I've been bedridden for 2 weeks. My mother, a very busy woman who lives 30 minutes away, took me to the doctor's office, which is barely 2 minutes across town. Turns out I have strep, and a bad ear infection. My loving boyfriend of 6 years, who lives with me, just told me to take a hot shower and I'd feel better. FML
Today, I have to sleep in another room, with the door closed, because if I don't, my girlfriend's snoring will keep me awake. I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia because of this. FML
Today, I'd finally had enough of feeling awful and went to urgent care. As it turns out, the reason my throat was sore was because I have a sinus infection. The doctor explained my nose is producing pus, and that's what I'm swallowing and coughing up. Yuck. I also have pink eye on top of that. FML
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Top comments
MyEpicDemise 7
I feel you should've consulted another doctor for a different opinion. Still, FYL.
lemon_phat 11
Just go to sleep, the second your throat closes, you will automatically wake up. And if this were truly life or death, you'd be in a hospital, lol.
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Comments (137)
whiteelite84 0
Meth will be ur best friend
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Normally, I would flame the shit out of you for suggesting such a God-awful drug. In this case however, it's really not a horrible option. That being said, OP should go about getting the drug legally. There are a number of prescribed amphetamines available, Ritalin included.
kwt2007 2
Seriously, go see another doctor. Or tell the current one what's going on when you try to sleep. Steroids like the mentioned Prednisone still work as immunosuppressants and will reduce the swelling even with a viral infection. Any real doctor would know this and would give you something if it means you can sleep...
taazer 12
What about a respirator?
ChurchTheDead 0
By glands i'm assuming you mean tonsils. Drink ice cold water, if you can sleep somewhat upright, and see about having your tonsils / adenoids removed once you are no longer sick.
ChurchTheDead 0
#68 actually getting the tonsils removed (assuming those are the referred to glands, even though they aren't glands) is perfectly acceptable. This can be a recurrent issue with cryptic tonsils, as well as being a cause of sleep apnea. If it becomes recurrent I would have then removed (and did).
perdix 31
Do you have cool stuff? Can I have it when you die? Go get intubated.
Devyn333 16
I had sleep apnea so bad caused by my throat almost touching when I was awake. You can imagine me trying to sleep. It's a constant waking up and you don't know why, but it's because your body wakes you up from not breathing. You can sleep, your body has an alarm system. It'll just keep waking you up.
SanDiegoGirl111 3
Devyn, if you haven't already, pls see a doctor!! Sleep apnea is serious and you can actually die...your doc can prescribe a CPAP machine that will enable you to breathe so you can get the sleep you need (and so ya don't die!!) =)
spekledworf 18
sleep on your stomach. trust me
private1111 0
That always makes me choke.
nikijcchz 10
Not sleeping can also kill u!!
HeatherAS77 10
Yep, yer right. Nothing to do for a viral infection but you need to sleep! That's your best chance at getting better faster, our bodies repair themselves during sleep. Lay with your head elevated & try using a vaporizer. Good luck!!
NoNotTheFace 8
Nightmare on Gland Street.