Today, I'm very ill. My throat and glands are so swollen that whenever I fall asleep, I relax too much and cut off my own air. The doctor said it's a viral infection and there's nothing they can give me, so I can choose between trying to kill myself by sleeping or staying awake for the next few days. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
Today, I have an acute URI and acute bronchitis. The cough syrup works amazingly well to stop the coughing, but if I take the cough syrup it gives me insomnia. So I get to choose: do I want to spend all night coughing, or spend all night tossing and turning? FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. because my throat was swelling up. I called 911 and they determined that I would live, so I took two Benadryl and slept all day. Then I went to urgent care for my scheduled appointment time and tested positive for Covid. FML
Today, my daughter has an ear infection and hasn’t slept more than 15 minutes a night for the last three days. Well tonight she was finally asleep, but I needed to take my own tablets. I had a violent coughing fit while choking on them, and woke her up. FML
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML
Today, I'm trying to sleep off a cold as my roommate plays video games in his adjacent room. He doesn't rage or get excited often, and he can control it even more if he really needs to, but it's still enough to keep me painfully awake, along with my cold. Every minute feels like an eternity. FML
Today, I've been bedridden for 2 weeks. My mother, a very busy woman who lives 30 minutes away, took me to the doctor's office, which is barely 2 minutes across town. Turns out I have strep, and a bad ear infection. My loving boyfriend of 6 years, who lives with me, just told me to take a hot shower and I'd feel better. FML
Today, I have to sleep in another room, with the door closed, because if I don't, my girlfriend's snoring will keep me awake. I was diagnosed with chronic insomnia because of this. FML
Today, I'd finally had enough of feeling awful and went to urgent care. As it turns out, the reason my throat was sore was because I have a sinus infection. The doctor explained my nose is producing pus, and that's what I'm swallowing and coughing up. Yuck. I also have pink eye on top of that. FML
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Top comments
MyEpicDemise 7
I feel you should've consulted another doctor for a different opinion. Still, FYL.
lemon_phat 11
Just go to sleep, the second your throat closes, you will automatically wake up. And if this were truly life or death, you'd be in a hospital, lol.
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Comments (137)
RubySlippers84 11
gargle with warm salt water
Snowbat4u 10
It is 1. Called a humidifier and 2. Try sleeping sitting up
shannonjnae2706 0
That happened to me when I had mono. I didn't sleep for two weeks.
zendaddy0 0
Try drinking hot chocolate or soup or just any hot liquids helps the swelling go down long enough to sleep
kportal69 5
Sleep sitting up. Trust me.
bubo_fml 11
Can U stick some sort of tube down your throat to keep the passage open? (Fire away w/ your sordid suggestions FML'ers, I can't make it any easier for you!)
MrsWojtowicz 16
He didn't offer you some kind of steroid? Not even to take some kind of anti-inflammatory pills like ibuprofen? Sounds like a quack. I'd go get a second opinion if I were you. Try taking some Motrin and sleeping in a la-z-boy. Might be killer on your back, but at least you won't die in your sleep!
faithfulangel 0
What a lame doctor. I'd go see a different one. I was in that position a little over a week ago. Had a hard time breathing and could barely swallow anything. Doctors put me on antibiotics and pain medication. I'm sure you could get something. Feel better soon
xgetxbentx 13
See another doctor, sleep apnea is a disorder where you stop breathing in your sleep, they have machines for it. So even though yours is from being sick, they CAN do something.
construction 7
Nice shaytards pic (shay's gift painting)