By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 319
You deserved it 5 775

Same thing different taste


Vanessa_Leeann26 17

Right? I'm not sure why posting on FML was his first move.. I would've called first then posted. Lmao

You mean animal coontrol lol ... anyone?

Around here animal control tells you to call a private company or trap them yourself. The private company wanted $600. Had one take up camp in my backyard. He moved on when the pool cage went up and he couldn't get to his water source.

Wouldn't matter if you're an antisocial person like me! But you still would have to go to school/work. Climb out the window.

Throw a big sheet/tarp over them then while they're blinded, jump 'em and trap them in the tarp/sheet then release them into your neighbors yard.

prinncess00 16
incoherentrmblr 21

Isn't that a fire hazard to only have one exit?

jazzy_123 20

#1, oh I don't know. Last time I called them so they could pick up my mother-in-law... they never came :(

What did you do to them to make them gang up on you? Maybe call an exterminator?

Just go outside and have all 5 jump up at you and attack you and risk them getting inside?

Better hope raccoons don't kill a human. -_-

Damian95 16

As a raccoon hunter, I know from experience that if you just make a loud noise or mock charge them, they'll run. Unless they are acting strange or have rabies. In that case, animal control would be best.

Camping outside the door and hissing isn't considered acting strange?

Just ******* ignore them and/or act intimidating. What the **** could a bunch of raccoons do to you? YDI. #83 - what's a raccoon hunter? is there a lot of demand in that field? :P

Damian95 16

Actually yes. Russia and China at times are in need of furs. So you stay out all night killing and skinning, and then you get payed handsomely/unhandsomely by a fur buyer. The prices have just now risen where it's worth it to do again.

The racoons in my city don't run. I've thrown stuff at them, ran at them, and yelled 'til I turned blue and they won't leave. The only thing that scares them is the 10 lb dog in my profile pic! They ate all my goldfish/koi and ripped the tarp for the pond so now I can't have fish out there :(

Alexthegreat475 13

Throw a shiny object put your door, raccoons love shiny objects.

Epikouros 31

Wouldn't that just encourage them? Don't negotiate with terrorists!

They also love candles. I was gonna say toss out some tea lights and while they're distracted, run!

Alexthegreat475 13

Throw food outside your door and RUNNNNNN

simplysarcastics 26

A gang of racoons? are you considering joining op, you know get affiliated? It won't be hard to get initiated you probably have to knock out a few squirrels.

RedPillSucks 31

For a bonus, you get a cool racoon tattoo, maybe Sly Cooper (wait, is that a fox or a racoon?)

TallMist 32

Call Turtleman! He'll deal with them humanely. Then again you have to live in or near Kentucky.

That show is a hoax. They plant the animals. Got in trouble for planting venomous snakes near a public pool for a taping after the city said no. Showed up on a Monday night roundup of news stories a while back, I'd get the link but I'm mobile.

I've seen the show a handful of times, I'm not a dedicated fan. I was also just making a joke. I'll find the news story though because now I'm interested.