By RaccoonFever - 10/01/2014 11:15 - United States - La Jolla

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 269
You deserved it 5 751

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Call animal control

Hiss back! Display your dominance!

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Call animal control

Show them who's boss and poon that coon.

Right? I'm not sure why posting on FML was his first move.. I would've called first then posted. Lmao

How do you know what he did first?

You mean animal coontrol lol ... anyone?

Around here animal control tells you to call a private company or trap them yourself. The private company wanted $600. Had one take up camp in my backyard. He moved on when the pool cage went up and he couldn't get to his water source.

Or shoot them..

Wouldn't matter if you're an antisocial person like me! But you still would have to go to school/work. Climb out the window.

Throw a big sheet/tarp over them then while they're blinded, jump 'em and trap them in the tarp/sheet then release them into your neighbors yard.

Side window escape?

Isn't that a fire hazard to only have one exit?

#1, oh I don't know. Last time I called them so they could pick up my mother-in-law... they never came :(

What did you do to them to make them gang up on you? Maybe call an exterminator?

Just go outside and handle them?

Just go outside and have all 5 jump up at you and attack you and risk them getting inside?

Better hope raccoons don't kill a human. -_-

As a raccoon hunter, I know from experience that if you just make a loud noise or mock charge them, they'll run. Unless they are acting strange or have rabies. In that case, animal control would be best.

Camping outside the door and hissing isn't considered acting strange?

Just fucking ignore them and/or act intimidating. What the fuck could a bunch of raccoons do to you? YDI. #83 - what's a raccoon hunter? is there a lot of demand in that field? :P

Actually yes. Russia and China at times are in need of furs. So you stay out all night killing and skinning, and then you get payed handsomely/unhandsomely by a fur buyer. The prices have just now risen where it's worth it to do again.

The racoons in my city don't run. I've thrown stuff at them, ran at them, and yelled 'til I turned blue and they won't leave. The only thing that scares them is the 10 lb dog in my profile pic! They ate all my goldfish/koi and ripped the tarp for the pond so now I can't have fish out there :(

Throw a shiny object put your door, raccoons love shiny objects.

Wouldn't that just encourage them? Don't negotiate with terrorists!

They also love candles. I was gonna say toss out some tea lights and while they're distracted, run!

Throw food outside your door and RUNNNNNN

Hiss back! Display your dominance!

A gang of racoons? are you considering joining op, you know get affiliated? It won't be hard to get initiated you probably have to knock out a few squirrels.

For a bonus, you get a cool racoon tattoo, maybe Sly Cooper (wait, is that a fox or a racoon?)

They're there for the initiation xD

The jackets are way to expensive

One of us... One of us...

Call animal control. Raccoons are evil.

Call Turtleman! He'll deal with them humanely. Then again you have to live in or near Kentucky.

That show is a hoax. They plant the animals. Got in trouble for planting venomous snakes near a public pool for a taping after the city said no. Showed up on a Monday night roundup of news stories a while back, I'd get the link but I'm mobile.

I've seen the show a handful of times, I'm not a dedicated fan. I was also just making a joke. I'll find the news story though because now I'm interested.

Next thing you know the Umberella Corporation will be knocking at you door, becayse your in... *shades in* Racoon City.

Also, *because

Also: "raccoon".

Also: Umbrella*.

WOW. Also: You are = You're

That one was already covered, 97. Nice try though.