By anonymous - 13/09/2012 06:02 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 774
You deserved it 4 642

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Wait, so they don't relocate them to Raccoon city? Damn that sucks OP!

JessalynVictoria 6

Don't wrestle raccoons. They could have rabies!!


Wait, so they don't relocate them to Raccoon city? Damn that sucks OP!

Thanks for reminding me! RESIDENT EVIL TOMORROW!!!

Well no 1 you can't do that, the city is infested with zombies. :(

IQWasJustLowered 0

Why is that comment thumbed down. I thought it was funny.

They are supposed to kill the raccoons because of all the possible diseases they have.

Yea I can't wait for the movie! And I was being silly :)

Just kill it. Then take it in and tell them what happened.

CheeseTron 15

Rac city bitch. Naa I ******* hat that song.

#1, Apparently OP lives in Raccoon City, and didn't know it.

Exactly. Op is a dumb ass. Critters are a part of life raccoons, coyotes, deer skunks everything just part of life here. I would have done same thing as anal control did. I bet they laughed and laughed when it was over.

laughingstock- exactly, they should do a low air drop if an army of raccoons into raccoon city. As far as i know, zombies dont go after raccoons but, as OP will agree, those things can get mean.

JessalynVictoria 6

Don't wrestle raccoons. They could have rabies!!

Marcella1016 31

Exactly what I was thinking! Lucky he got away with a few scratches and not some serious bites. Then again, with the shittiness of the animal control in his area, maybe OP had no choice. Why the %&#! Would they release it in his yard?!

It's common sense to tell if an animal has rabies. They may be foaming at the mouth, have patches of hair loss, unsteady movements, etc.. But then again, common sense isn't so common nowadays.

Marcella1016 31

I'm not a vet, 22, but you can probably assume the symptoms aren't going to ALWAYS be evident ALL the time. Better to be safe than sorry. And I hear treatment for rabies is a bitch.

22- one of first noticeable symptoms is shying away from humans you won't notice that in a raccoon though because they do that either way.

22-that is a very true statement! It's getting bad out there!

Also the fact that raccoons are nocturnal and one being out in the daytime (assuming this was day time) would have a huge chance of having rabies...or had a crazy night on the town and can't remember where he parked his hole or where ever raccoons live.

I scrolled down the FML homepage so quickly that I read this FML and the previous one together. Imagine my surprise when I thought the first sentence was "Today, I was having sex with an enormous raccoon in my backyard." Back on topic, OP should have had the raccoon tested for rabies before letting animal control release it. If s/he can't locate it at this point, s/he should probably get the shot. You only have something like 72 hours after exposure to get it, and almost all cases of rabies are fatal. 36, where did you hear that? I'm pretty sure one of the most noticeable symptoms of rabies is loss of fear, not shyness.

75, they have to kill it in order to test for rabies, because they test brain tissue.

I've always heard that you have to observe the animal for symptoms of rabies before you kill it. Maybe they do it differently where you're from?

85 I mean if they suspect rabies, then they would have to kill it to do the test for it

Marcella1016 31

76 - How do they test for it in humans? O_o

That goes for ANY wild animal. I worked at a wildlife education center for about a year with tons of animals, including one raccoon. All wild animals have about the same chance of getting rabies. OP needs to be seen by a doctor ASAP, they can give you a series of shots to prevent rabies. It doesn't matter if the animal seemed rabid or not, it is NOT worth the risk. Then they should probably be writing a letter to whoever is in charge of animal control and possibly the DNR about how the situation was handled, because OP should not have needed to be anywhere near the animal.

#93- I don't think they test it in humans until you start getting the symptoms (at which point it's too late.) They give you the shot if they even think you might have been infected. The problem is that the shot is apparently really expensive (IIRC) so if possible you're supposed to get the animal tested as soon as possible to see whether you even need it. If you can't get the animal tested, you have to get the shot just in case. Oh, and one more rabies PSA, if you ever find a bat in a sleeping person's room, get the bat tested, because you can be bitten by a rabid bat in your sleep and not be aware of it. And no, birds don't carry rabies. Only mammals do. I only say this because I once had a friend come to me hysterical after being "attacked" by a bird she was convinced was rabid. lol

96-About your profile, why do you call yourself a feminist if you are an equal rights activist? Why throw in any gender orientation if you neither gender is more important? I feel trying to make one group of people stick out at this point is not helping any of societies sexist and/or racial feelings, but only spark the fire a little more. I hear ya on the whole equal rights for everyone, I just don't understand the need for calling yourself a feminist, or fighting for women's rights when other minorities are discriminated against, just as much if not more, than women are.

This is a serious question. I am on my iPod so. I can't personally message them, I seriously want to know why this is done! It doesn't make sense to me, and if it has a logical explanation then she will be able to give me an intellectual reason.

They look like bandits for a reason lol, he'll be back for more. The battle has just begun!

In a few days I can picture the Walmart commercial where they're advertising water guns for the summer. The guys sitting on his porch with the water gun while the raccoon is hissing at him!

thejewishfuhrer 17

Coons?! When coons tried to come up on our back porch, mama would hit them with a broom.

I thought animal control would catch them and relocate them. Not have the house owner catch them and then not even move it off the property. Get a rabies shot OP.

Seems like he'll have his revenge soon. Beware!

challan 19

Op, where was your head? Never touch a wild animal. You are lucky you only have a few scratches. Smarten up!

One time my brother saw a bobcat and chased it... With a butter knife.. -_-

agonydrum 7

Reminds me of that episode in family guy with the raccoon :D

You should probably check that hedge in your back yard for any food-stuffed logs, and make sure there isn't a stingy bear lurking around. Animals are smarter than you think; just ask Vern!

Oh my God! Vern! Loved that he saved Christmas! May he RIP

mrmarylin2you 4

well the racoon was relocated from the backyard to the front yard. I see no problem here.

Moka96 7

You should be careful raccoons can carry rabies. ( ̄^ ̄)ゞ

35- Moka didn't say that only raccoons carry rabies. And not all animals carry rabies. Just mammals.

Why would you even attempt to get near it let alone catch it? There's traps you can buy that animal control will pick up. That sucks they let it out back on your property but if I am correct animal control lets capture animals out near or in their natural surroundings. If you live in a wooded area that raccoon wasn't going to go far anyway.