By TheCerealKiller - United States - Northridge
Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
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Damn! So much for being industrious when you're sick. That's horrible! I would have been scared to death. Hats off to you for at least trying to take out the trash even though you were sick. By the way, I think it's interesting that, and none of these posts I have read, I have never seen the original poster comment back. Except for maybe wants.

  olpally  |  32

This is what I hate about Grammar nazis. They have nothing better to do and don't even provide real insight to the FML or offer a funny joke after correcting the grammar. I'm not impressed when all I see is corrections as comments, seriously.

I don't care if I get thumbed up or down. Just stating my onion.

  fmlallthetyme  |  23

They may not provide insight, but it can provide humor when people go on rants about how it is the Internet and spelling doesn't matter (after they have been corrected). After all, who doesn't enjoy reading the occasional thread of rants?


I'm sorry, but when I realized you wrote "I'm just stating my onion" I laughed SO hard. Not being a grammar nazi, just thought I'd share.

Good thing you corrected yourself though!

  perdix  |  29

Do you mean "scarred" or "scared?"

Raccoons are wusses like people who get permanent mental traumas from mildly frightening events. If there were three raccoons in there, and two were the parents of the third, and they were having sex, yeah, the other one could be scarred for life.

  CallMeMcFeelii  |  13

Raccoons are fucking evil. I had one latch ahold of my boot one day when I was chasing it outta my yard with a bat. I had a dog and raccoons are known to have some diseases so all you PETA people don't bitch about "cruelty to rabid animals".

By  Life_is_FML  |  22

The raccoon wasn't probably very happy with you exploding outside and making his house stink up. The value could go down with neighbors like that! But it does suck for you op. Rocky sends his apologies.