By TheCerealKiller - 07/08/2012 09:19 - United States - Northridge

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 304
You deserved it 2 712

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Icyghost17 10

I'm sure the raccoon felt the same way.

rikitsumiatsu 11

he was waiting for the perfect moment to get you


Icyghost17 10

I'm sure the raccoon felt the same way.

Yeah raccoons don't like being startled by having their homes roof removed. Haha.

Damn! So much for being industrious when you're sick. That's horrible! I would have been scared to death. Hats off to you for at least trying to take out the trash even though you were sick. By the way, I think it's interesting that, and none of these posts I have read, I have never seen the original poster comment back. Except for maybe wants.

scotthearne 9

Did u get a upset stomach from to much cereal? (look at his name)

olpally 32

This is what I hate about Grammar nazis. They have nothing better to do and don't even provide real insight to the FML or offer a funny joke after correcting the grammar. I'm not impressed when all I see is corrections as comments, seriously. I don't care if I get thumbed up or down. Just stating my onion.

olpally 32

Opinion* I corrected myself. Don't worry.

They may not provide insight, but it can provide humor when people go on rants about how it is the Internet and spelling doesn't matter (after they have been corrected). After all, who doesn't enjoy reading the occasional thread of rants?

I'm sorry, but when I realized you wrote "I'm just stating my onion" I laughed SO hard. Not being a grammar nazi, just thought I'd share. Good thing you corrected yourself though!

62 - I only do it cause of my OCD. The mistake will just crawl at my skin until someone will fix it. But other people do it just to get them mad.

Nope. I actually don't eat much cereal. I just pour it out of the bag and smash it dead.

rikitsumiatsu 11

he was waiting for the perfect moment to get you

At least you aren't full of shit anymore...Better out than in ;)

Aug1508 9

Trolled by a raccoon... Lol!

If I was the raccoon I would totally be scarred

perdix 29

Do you mean "scarred" or "scared?" Raccoons are wusses like people who get permanent mental traumas from mildly frightening events. If there were three raccoons in there, and two were the parents of the third, and they were having sex, yeah, the other one could be scarred for life.

Do you mean the parents having sex or an incestual raccoon threesome?

wyattshack 4

Hmm raccoon sex in a trash can? Yep that sounds pretty scary to me

I meant scarred...and why did you have to bring up raccoon sex...Ew?

Atleast u were not in public, that would've been shitty. Im sorry for OP and my cliche pun.

the_anti_hipster 7

5, I don't know which is worse: your horrible attempt at humor or your classy profiles pic.

ant1ion 12

And I learned the priorities reading this post.

KiddNYC1O 20

Shit before taking out the garbage?

KingCeltic77 18

"He's more scared of you than you are of it." they say. I say BS.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Raccoons are ******* evil. I had one latch ahold of my boot one day when I was chasing it outta my yard with a bat. I had a dog and raccoons are known to have some diseases so all you PETA people don't bitch about "cruelty to rabid animals".

KingCeltic77 18

Oh PETA. Don't get me started on that lot.

Life_is_FML 22

The raccoon wasn't probably very happy with you exploding outside and making his house stink up. The value could go down with neighbors like that! But it does suck for you op. Rocky sends his apologies.

Snackycake 20

The raccoons strike again, those furry little bastards....