Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
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Top comments
ruben7467 0
it happens. thank god you have concerned neighbors. not a fml
allmidnighteyes 11
At least they cared enough to notice.
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Comments (103)
loveflys2011 0
hey at least they were looking out for you! lol
Ducati45 0
YDI for living in victoria
Ninjaface 0
Stop complaining, now you'll get to have beer with the president.
FHGrif 0
Yep these things happen. nice neighbors, I hope mine would call the cops if they saw something I'm serious
bds0688 0
Ah goodie, all the self righteous ***** saying that drinking is dumb, or he was an idiot for getting that drunk. Cause everyone here is perfect. Least you didn't drive, and at least your neighbors care. Not really an FML.
WonderBlunder 0
The police woke you up while searching your place?? Better check your belongings man.. I think you got broken in by thieves in cops uniform..
RedBaron 0
Is everyone on this site logging on from bible camp? I've become accustomed to you straightedge pricks hating on cigs and bud, but alcohol? That's like the most socially accepted inebrient out and you fags are still like "alcohol is bad for you, ydi for drinking, whine whine motherfucking whine" Shut the **** up
Luckster 0
THANK you!!
Gen_Knowledge 0
It's not because he drank alcohol. It's because he drank so much that he get drunk and can't control himself anymore.
Inspired22 11
I don't think this is an FML. So the police came to searched your house. Big deal. At least your neighbors were looking out for you. An FML would be "Today, a dude came into my apartment through my door and took all my stuff, and my neighbors watched him, but didn't call the cops because they are used to watching me climb through my window and thought it was me. FML"
Dabamash 0
This was taken from the news. So, fake.
theblazian 0
Yes because really what are the chances of out of 6,000,000,000 people there are TWO who went through a window when drunk and had the police called on them. Completely impossible.
Witchcraft_fml 5
You're right. This morning, I yawned... But then I found out that my mother yawned this morning, too... So than what the **** did I do?
TheLetterZero 7
It's clear that you called every major news network and had a couple lengthy interviews about your similar yawn timing.