Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
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Top comments
ruben7467 0
it happens. thank god you have concerned neighbors. not a fml
allmidnighteyes 11
At least they cared enough to notice.
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Comments (103)
C2Ultima 0
Well once you explained it everything was fine wasn't it? Boring FML
carmoniam 0
Um, why would they search your place? It looks like a normal home invasion. Also, they would need a warrant from a judge to search your house. Or do they do things differently in Australia? Cause this reeks of a fake otherwise.
Minuet 0
Police need to have a "just cause" in order to enter a building without authorization. If, for example, a police officer is walking down the street and hears a woman screaming for help inside a building, he is able to search it. Or, in another example, if a burglary is reported, police can enter and attempt to arrest the thief. But I don't know how they do it in Oz, I'm in New York.
IceCream53423 0
I love how people could cre less if they lose their keys
perdix 31
This isn't an FML unless they did a full body cavity search.
redbluegreen 41
I think you mean that when they perform a full body cavity search, it no longer becomes an FML.
perdix 31
I guess at that point, it ceases being an FML and becomes a party!
sodahhhr 0
You kick my dog
Mx_Rider 6
wow fakeeeeeeeee i saw this one a couple a weeks ago nice try cum bubble
Mx_Rider 6
hiiiii
cerebellum_fml 0
Be glad you have some great neighbors, but they borderline creepers. Yeah what a hangover that must have been.
playfuldesk 0
The probably thought u were black. Nothing ever comesgood out of some black guy jumping in a windom
Besker 0
you're a racist, so go drink bleach AND DIE IN A HOLE
playfuldesk 0
I meant they and window.
Witchcraft_fml 5
You're bothering to correct your spelling in a racist remark?
seanreddog 4
He wouldn't want people thinking he was a total idiot, right?
Witchcraft_fml 5
No, you're right. XD If that's what he's going for, though, he should probably give himself a full lobotomy.