Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
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Top comments
ruben7467 0
it happens. thank god you have concerned neighbors. not a fml
allmidnighteyes 11
At least they cared enough to notice.
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Comments (103)
theblazian 0
Yup.... cause I bet you can perfectly ID anyone who is going into houses through windows in the dark (assuming it was late since he went to sleep and was drunk.... don't know how those aussies do it). Perfectly, yup down to the t. Maybe all neighbors should invest in some night vision goggles like you?
Witchcraft_fml 5
Aw, I thought this would end with you being in the wrong house and a guard dog chewing on your nuts. Props for window-climb-coordination while drunk, though!
Vonuc 0
They should of been scoping him out through a sniper. Just in case.
jane99 2
We need an "ehh" button.
Jefferson207 3
maybe Obama will invite you over for beer
darkmis1 18
YDI for gettin drunk [in public].
andlifesuxagain 0
HA, this reminds me of the times I stumbled into my old duplex drunk and was told I live down the street now... sadly it happend a few times and I yelled at them asking what they were doing in my house! They were good people... ahhhh I.V.
Starsmydog 0
Why is this an fml?? because your neighbors actually give a crap about you??
1992_Ford_Ranger 0
total bullshit you climbed through a window staggerinly drunk
mezeek 1
Are you kidding me man ?!? Being drunk makes you MORE LIKELY to climb a tree and do whatever.
noshitsherlock 0
STFU. At least you have neighbors who care. What if it WAS an intruder?